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Friday 17 October 2014

Talishopping

Who would have thought that the Taliban were avid shoppers of male grooming items?

Whites Are Popular With Some Taliban
Whites Are Popular With Some Taliban

Apparently, in the areas that they control in Pakistan (North Waziristan etc), the biggest customers for male grooming products are, or rather were, the younger male Taliban members.
 
So as the Pakistani army conducted its bi-annual 'terrorist clean up' in the tribal areas, by bombing innocent locals and claiming they were 'insurgents' (while the Taliban sits in Afghanistan awaiting the Pakistani armies departure), the younger male Taliban members went shopping.

Strangely, they wouldn't buy locally manufactured products, and so local shop keepers had to import foreign or branded perfumes, and imported body sprays. They apparently preferred the ones with a strong scent - presumably because power showers are not freely available or used much in the tribal areas. 
The list of Taliban shoppers preferences included:
  • Dove soap - that's the moisturised one I understand.
  • Head & Shoulders shampoo - many an itchy scalp under those head clothes.
  • White underwear - no flies on these boys
  • Perfumes: the most popular perfumes (which we assume are for the 'jihadi brides' ... but who knows, maybe for Chai boys), were 'Secret Love' and 'Blue Lady' by Rasasi

So deep is the love of preening amongst the Jihadi boys, .... that some of them, such as Abu Fulan al-Muhajir, a 'British' Jihadist, has been posting requests for 'hair care .... beard products', while he is supposedly fighting, murdering, and beheading people in Syria in a holy war.

He actually tweeted to the world, his current concerns, which don't include jihad, but rather the carnage in his follicles ... "My beards got split ends. What to do?!?!?!"

Abu Fulan al-Muhajir - Beard Tosser
Abu Fulan al-Muhajir - Beard Tosser!

Of course, amongst the legends of terrorism, where beard care was paramount, there was little reluctance in promoting the finer styling products. 


Western Style Products Are Most Popular And Promoted
Western Style Products Are Most Popular

Indeed, so large is this demand for 'luxury Western' products in Taliban controlled areas, that one local shop keeper in North Waziristan claimed to have earned between 100,000 and 115,000 rupees a day (£680 or $1,163 per day), from this source alone. This represents a fortune in Pakistan, but wouldn't be sniffed at in the UK either.

"They would drive to my shop in big white cars with black-tinted windows and had no qualms about doling out wads of cash. The kind of things they would buy, well people like me can't even conceive of buying them." .... the shop keeper reported.

He, like the Taliban, left the area well before the highly advertised army offensive, and as the Taliban had been tipped off, many had started selling off their ill-gotten electronic equipment at dirt-cheap rates. No real problem for them, as they will simply appropriate the banks money when they return later in the year, and then buy all new, top of the range phones and cameras.

Of course this tipping off of the terrorists, which was aimed at ensuring that the Pakistani army doesn't have to actually fight very hard, and also leaves the militants intact (which is the Pakistani Inter Services Intelligence aim), has left only the largely innocent tribal locals, to be bombed and killed by the might of the armed forces .... so yet another glorious victory on home soil for both the ISI, and the nations finest.

1 comment:

  1. Good post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Appreciate it!
    Beard products

    ReplyDelete

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