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Friday 10 April 2015

Electionitis Vaccination

How many Angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Angels Dance On The Head Of A Pin
"We Don't Dance On The Head Of A Pin Unless We Are Really Drunk!"

That was the the sort of unanswerable question that medieval theologians used to ask students, although in point of fact there is actually no surviving example of the question ever being written in that form.

However it still serves as an example of the sort of question that has no real answer (Angels of course being aspects of God can be as little or big as they want, and occupy as much or little space as they want, or none of space ~ as many as want to or an infinite number), and more to the point, is a pointless questions.

A modern equivalent could be 'how many times does a politician evade the truth in an answer?' ..... the answer being of course, how close to re-election are they?

I was thinking this while listening to one or all of the politicians doing their first 'official sound bites' of the election campaigns ... which was wittily hash-tagged as the great 'massdebate', where the answer to every tricky question seemed to be ... "Well of course the real question should be 'blah de blah de blah'" and off they would go, launching into some spiel that never once answered the very straightforward question that they had been asked.

It's only the second weekend(ish), and already I am bored and fed up.

So as well as my cunning plan to limit this crap to only once a decade, I have hit upon another plan which tentatively I thought to call 'Lightening Elections' or maybe 'Blitzkrieg Campaigns', before falling on the term 'five day week'.

Under my new election rules, the parties get one working week ... yes just 5 working days into which they must cram an entire election campaign. Now as I see it, this has a lot of advantages:

  1. No one could get bored. It would be an action packed 5 days.
  2. The politicians wouldn't be exhausted ... they could get by on adrenalin and sugar hits for that time.
  3. The election wouldn't interfere with normal people lives e.g. TV soaps wouldn't be rescheduled (always a complaint during every campaign), and finally
  4. It wouldn't leave the country without a government for any time appreciable time scale.

Blitzkrieg Election Tactics
Blitzkrieg Election Tactics


Hell, it even allows for a re-election campaign if no government was possible, so that could be restricted to a week as well.

Now I admit that I am sure that politicians would argue that this plan wouldn't allow enough time for them to define their policies, but lets be honest, 75% of those who are going to vote, have their opinions formed before the campaign starts, and the other 'floating voters' are as likely to decide inside a week as not.

So as well as 'BED time' and 'Ten more years', lets have a '5 Day Week!'

And that's the last of my comments on the election until its all done and dusted, or unless there is something major like an assassination .... so if you want an election free space, then this blog should suit you down to the ground.

2 comments:

  1. Brilliant! The 'massdebate' ! So that container full of viagra sent by the Chinese won't be so useless. The concerned Asians heard that we were having trouble with our elections.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. .... maybe they will send Fannee Claddock over as well.

      Delete

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