Sunday, 4 March 2007

Jesus Tomb

Amazing, Astounding, Incredible! …. A film maker, James Cameron (Titanic, Alien, and Terminator) claims to have found the tomb (well the ossuary … bone box to you and I) of Jesus of Nazareth. On top of this, evidence that he was married to Miriam (Mary) Magdalene, and that they had a son called Judah! …

Hmm, I seem to have heard this story before .. err yes, I have heard the story before, but it was different then. In fact it made barely a ripple when it came out, because it was speculative archaeology at best and irresponsible tripe at worst. It disappeared for five years and re-emerges as a “new” story with a multimillion pound film budget!

Ah ha, I hear the cynics say, another “Da Vinci Code” or maybe the Santilli/Shoefield “Alien Autopsy” film, or just an amalgam of both … still it’s shameful that a well known film maker would associate himself with this sort of money making. There are enough conspiracy theorists, Muslim fundamentalists, and complete idiots out there, without adding to the numbers.

So here are the facts that you won’t get on the idiot sites around the world.

1. There have always been stories that “Jesus” didn’t die, but went elsewhere … common locations for these other places include India, Japan, Britain and France.

2. Some of these stories are quite old, (Middle Ages, but still over a thousand years after the events), but most of these stories only emerge in the 19th & 20th Century, and are based upon wishful thinking e.g. “And did those feet, in ancient times walk upon England’s mountains green” from the Poem by William Blake (1804), and which was based upon an older apocryphal story, which narrated that Jesus, while still a young man, accompanied Joseph of Arimathea to the English town of Glastonbury.

3. Many of these Stories, especially about Jesus in India, come from Islamic sources (based largely on the Quran, written 650 yrs after the New Testament), and obviously have a reason to “prove” that Jesus was not the “Son of God”. Mainly because it enhances their prophet, and also does a number on the Buddhists as well, by "showing" that their later teachings were influenced by Jesus. If Jesus was the Son of God, then there would be no reason to send the Muslim prophet, so they wanted to prove Jesus to be a lesser being … you get the picture. Incidentally, the Rector of the Al-Azhar University in Cairo issued a Fatwa (verdict) that according to the Holy Quran, Jesus had died a natural death…. (This is the same University that had the blogger Kareem arrested) … how “natural” a death by crucifixion is, is a matter of religion.

4. One of the main Islamic sources is Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad (1835-1908), a man who had previously been declared as a “Reformer of Islam”, a title only 13 men had held before, for a very big book “proving” that all the other world religions were ‘pants’. He later went on to declare himself Mahdi, and declared a madman, but that’s never been a handicap in Islam. He still has followers now.

5. The current crop of books about Jesus and bloodlines come from the late 20th century and later, and carefully infer to be based on 'facts', but are largely made up of speculation built upon half facts, or just plain rubbish, are written almost entirely with a quick buck and a possible film deal in mind.

6. This latest story comes from a discovery in 1980 in Talpoit (Israel) … Yes this has been around for that long, before Mr Cameron “discovered” the story of some bone boxes (they used to intern the bones, not the bodies in those days) that were inscribed with names Mary; Matthew; Jesua son of Joseph; Mary; Jofa (Joseph, Jesus' brother); and Judah son of Jesua, and were featured on the BBC in 1996.

7. So far so good for the gullible, but here’s the bits Mr Cameron won’t have in his film.

8. At the time that Jesus was alive there were at least 351 other men with a first name of Jesus with their fathers name as Joseph i.e. about 5% of the male population of Jerusalem.

9. Miriam was the first name of at least a quarter of all Jewish women in the 1st century AD

10. The ossuaries were not found in Galilee, where the “Jesus” family would have lived and buried their dead, but in the centre of Jerusalem. A very strong indication that it’s another family, if not an outright fraud (see “Hitler diaries”, for this type of fraud).

11. The people who wrote the New Testament, are not likely to have ‘forgotten’ where his body was interred for three days, so when they said “The tomb of Joseph of Arimathea” as where Jesus’s body was interred after the crucifixion, then they knew, as they were there.

12. Why would they put his bones in an ossuary in any event, when they were telling everyone that he had ascended to heaven? It is not a secret you could keep for very long in a city where a lot of people were related to, or knew, the "disciples". Especially as Mr Cameron is saying that he not only lived, but married and had a child, who presumably lived in Jersualem long after his death. Presumably, everyone just "forgot" about his wife and child after Jesus was crucified? Duh, just how many fools does Mr Cameron think there are in the world?

13. If his bones were in a box, then all his disciples would have been tortured and martyred for a lie, and would have known this as they were being tortured …. Not very likely. People will endure a lot for something they believe in, but not for something they know to be a lie.

14. As for his enemies, do you think that the Pharisees/Sanhedrin wouldn’t have done anything to break this splinter Jewish cult? They even went to considerable lengths to ensure that his body would not be disturbed for three days by sealing the tomb it lay in. “We remember what while he was still alive, that deceiver said ‘That after three days I will rise again’. So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise the disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead” .. So if his bones had been put in the family vault in “Jerusalem” (or more likely Galilee) they would have exposed this fact immediately.

15. Israeli archaeologist Amos Kloner, who was among the first to examine the tomb when it was first discovered, said the names marked on the coffins were very common at the time. "I don't accept the news that it was used by Jesus or his family," he told the BBC News website. "The documentary filmmakers are using it to sell their film." "It's very interesting," he said of all of the names of Jesus' family being found on ossuaries in the same cave, "but it's not a convincing proof that it's the family of Jesus." He knows of at least two other ossuaries that bear the name of Jesus, son of Joseph.

16. And finally, what a coincidence that this historical bombshell should await 2,000 years to turn up, just in time for a film maker to be able make a considerable amount of money from it. As mentioned earlier, when they were first found, these bone boxes raised no more than minor academic interest as a curious coincidence, but following the Da Vinci code, these types of films will make money, so it is dusted off with some spurious *DNA tests (inconclusive), and rediscovered for TV.

According to Mr Cameron's theory the story of Jesus goes something like this.
  • I am born the Son of God.
  • I preach tolerance and love, and do amazing stuff.
  • I am celibate, apart from Mary, who doesn't count somehow.
  • I have lots of friends and enemies who are strangely blind to me dating Mary.
  • I have lots of friends and enemies who are strangely blind to me marrying Mary, they missed the party and everything ... we didn't have a temple wedding, we just wanted a quiet affair, just friends and family .. a dozen or so you know.
  • Young Judah was born, couldn't christen him cos we haven't got to that bit yet.
  • I am the Son of God and I die for your Sins.
  • I am hated by certain very powerful religious groups who are strangely blind to my family living in Jerusalem.
  • My wife and Son all live with my earth Mum & Dad in Jerusalem despite the dangers, they preferred the big city life to Galilee.
  • My son never married, and they were all buried with my brother in the same tomb ... my brother had no children or wife, so when he died they sealed the whole thing up for Mr Cameron to make a film and show disrespect to the beliefs of 1.8 billion people.
It sort of looks stupid when its put like that doesn't it? But there are going to be a lot of people who will want to believe every word of this version, especially when its on TV.

Now that really is Amazing, Astounding, Incredible!

* How would we know what Jesus's DNA was?

For more on this story … including arrests for antique fraud and an attempt to swindle monies from a collector of antiquities:

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070226/jesus_tomb_060226/20070226?hub=TopStories
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Ossuary `
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2393209.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2349325.stm

For Jesus in the East, you don’t get a better review of the stories than this from the Fortean Times (unfortunately you have to subscribe for full article but I recommend it) .. get the postal version its more fun!
http://www.forteantimes.com/articles/183_jesuseast1.shtml

For other versions just Google “Jesus in India”, “Jesus in Japan” etc … you can even try “Jesus in Afghanistan” and get hits.

2 comments:

  1. The dumbing down of western education systems, especially in the Anglo Saxon world, means there is a ready audiance for the kinda crud that this Cameron film represents. Nobody is capable of analysis and just trust anything TV throws at them as the gospel truth ... pardon pun :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Its kinda sad to see Christianity and its values being eroded from within whilst Islam is on the rise.

    ReplyDelete

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