Friday, 4 May 2018

Sailor Beware

'Oh what shall we do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning' is a popular children’s ditty, and an even older sea shanty.

Drunken Sailors Have Existed Since Time Immemorial
Drunken Sailors Have Existed Since Time Immemorial

I have heard several other variants of this part of the song, including the anti-British, American version ....

'What'll we do with a Limejuice skipper? ..... Soak him in oil till he sprouts a flipper.' .... 'Limeys' was the American name for British sailors who ate lemons and limes to stop the scurvy.

But to all variants, there are various suggested solutions … ‘Kick him in the head until he’s sober.' is one I was told as a lad. Other suggestions vary in violence from mild, to outright gruesome ...

Milder:
  • 'Put/chuck him in the long boat 'til he's sober.'
  • 'Put him in the long-boat and make him bail her.'
  • 'Put/lock him in the guard room 'til he gets sober.'
  • 'Pull out the plug and wet him all over.'
  • 'Give 'im a dose of salt and water.'
  • 'Give 'im a hair of the dog that bit him.'
  • 'Put him in bed with the captain's daughter.'
  • 'Stick on his back a mustard plaster.'
  • 'Keep him there and make 'im bail 'er.'

Violent:
  • 'Put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him.'
  • 'Tie him to the taffrail when she's yardarm under.'
  • 'Heave him by the leg in a runnin' bowline.'
  • 'Scrape the hair off his chest with a hoop-iron razor.'
  • 'Tie him to the mast and then you flog him.'
  • 'Keel haul him till he's sober.'
  • 'Shave his chin with a rusty razor.'
  • 'Beat 'im o'r wi' a cat-o-nine-tails.'
  • 'Shave his belly with a rusty razor.'
  • 'Put him in the bilge and make him drink it.'
  • 'Hit him on the head with a drunken soldier.'
  • 'Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end.'

But if you’re a Samoan, then the acting Minister of Works, Papalii Niko Lee Hang has a very firm opinion on what to do with them. He gives Samoan sailors a strict injunction and warning, that if any of the latest group of sailors sent to service on foreign ships "misbehaved", they would be deported back home and no longer considered for service on foreign ships.

"You have to remember your parents and your village before any wrongdoing. Do not forget your families, save money for their families and not spend it on alcohol and other entertainment.” … he said. The reason for this stern warning is that Samoa is a poor nation, and the chance to earn US dollars at sea, allows a whole extended family to be supported on the islands.

Samoan Sailors
Samoan Sailors Share The Great Traditions Of Polynesian Navigation

This is also no idle threat, as many Samoan seafarers have lost their jobs in the past over "bad behaviour". Around 400 Samoan sailors work abroad, and they send home some US $6m (£4.2m) in remittances. Samoa, like many native pacific cultures from the Inuit, to the Maori, have found that western lifestyles have impacted greatly on the societies, not least alcoholism. So it's proposing a 100 per cent tax on domestically-produced liquor, and a limit on the size of the bottles sold.

Its both funny and sad, that a government minister feels moved to urge his citizens not to risk their livelihoods over alcohol. But globalisation has bad impacts as well as good ones.

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