A 50-year-old from China was constipated and looking for relief from the debilitating condition ...
.... now there are plenty of concoctions and powders on the market to cure this predicament.
However he apparently devised his own novel constipation treatment, and decided to stick a 12 inch aubergine up his backside to try and cure his condition. Why is not clear, and we only have his word that it was an attempt to cure constipation, but as you might expect it didn't do the trick. Indeed it only added to his woes, when it got sucked further into his body and stuck up there.
Two days and night later, he went to the doctors. One can only imagine the opening words:
Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient: "Doctor I have an aubergine stuck up my backside."
Surgeons in the local hospital were able to remove the fruit still intact from his intestines after an arduous operation.
He had a lung inflammation and a ruptured bowel following the incident, but its unclear, whether his 'constipation' symptoms were relieved. The story has gone all over Chinese social media, and one Weibo user suggested that the man should stick potatoes and peppers up there too, so he could make a traditional dish called di san xian ~ a stir-fry dish that translates as ‘three treasures from the earth’...
Of course he isn't the only man to stick an aubergine up his back passage. A man was caught masturbating on a bus with one stuck up his arse in 2016. Prisoners regularly transport cell phones and contraband such as knives and drugs using their anus (aka the 'buttpocket'), similarly drug smugglers, but other people have also shown remarkable ingenuity in what can go up there (and I don't mean the mythical 'gerbilling').
A 40-yr old Malaysian man claimed he slipped in the kitchen, which is how this aubergine shaped pestle got up his backside ... as for the others ....
.....Well I leave it to your imaginations, but hospitals report that the vast majority of objects inserted via the anus are the result of sexual misadventure.
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| Aubergine - Not A Traditional Constipation Cure In China |
.... now there are plenty of concoctions and powders on the market to cure this predicament.
However he apparently devised his own novel constipation treatment, and decided to stick a 12 inch aubergine up his backside to try and cure his condition. Why is not clear, and we only have his word that it was an attempt to cure constipation, but as you might expect it didn't do the trick. Indeed it only added to his woes, when it got sucked further into his body and stuck up there.
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| An Aubergine Too Far .... Way Too Far! |
Two days and night later, he went to the doctors. One can only imagine the opening words:
Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient: "Doctor I have an aubergine stuck up my backside."
Surgeons in the local hospital were able to remove the fruit still intact from his intestines after an arduous operation.
 |
| It Makes Your Eyes Water Just Looking At It .. |
He had a lung inflammation and a ruptured bowel following the incident, but its unclear, whether his 'constipation' symptoms were relieved. The story has gone all over Chinese social media, and one Weibo user suggested that the man should stick potatoes and peppers up there too, so he could make a traditional dish called di san xian ~ a stir-fry dish that translates as ‘three treasures from the earth’...
Of course he isn't the only man to stick an aubergine up his back passage. A man was caught masturbating on a bus with one stuck up his arse in 2016. Prisoners regularly transport cell phones and contraband such as knives and drugs using their anus (aka the 'buttpocket'), similarly drug smugglers, but other people have also shown remarkable ingenuity in what can go up there (and I don't mean the mythical 'gerbilling').
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| Tell Me Again. How Exactly Did That Get There? |
A 40-yr old Malaysian man claimed he slipped in the kitchen, which is how this aubergine shaped pestle got up his backside ... as for the others ....
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| Male Rammed Objects Are Varied, But Usually Sexually Motivated - Radiopaedia website |
.....Well I leave it to your imaginations, but hospitals report that the vast majority of objects inserted via the anus are the result of sexual misadventure.
The time it takes to go to hospital = the time of realisation that said object is not coming out on its own + the time it takes to come up with an excuse for its location.
ReplyDeleteThis is the closest word I could find to describe such an object :
WENDENS AMBO (n.)
(Veterinary term.) The operation to trace an object swallowed by a cow through all its seven stomachs. Hence, also
(1) en expedition to discover where the exits are in the Barican Centre, and
(2) a search through the complete works of Chaucer for all the rude bits.
[From The Meaning of Liff]
You have obviously done your research. Thanks as always for the comment.
Delete