Friday, 4 October 2019

More Chinese Whispers

 Its about time we had tales from the mysterious orient ....

Yangtze Monster

An unidentified creature was filmed making its way down the Yangtze, Asia's longest river near Yichang City, in central China's Hubei Province. The boat was travelling the three Gorges Dam Scenic Area, which is popular for cruises.

Yangtze Monster - Or Snake?
Yangtze Monster - Or Snake?

It was estimated to be at least 10ft long, and also appears to have a hump-like feature at the back of its slender body. After all the 'monster' speculation, its actually most likely to be a Burmese python, which are often found in China, and are capable of growing to the size seen in the video.

Censoring Gaydreams

Whisper it softly but the Chinese and Arabs have something in common .... their regimes don't like homosexuality, despite it being common in both areas. However that doesn't mean they have to allow just anyone to think about it. The Sim Freeplay is a game where anyone can join a virtual world, and is very popular. It has also allowed people to set their own characters avatars characteristics, these includes Gay characteristics.

Sim-bols Of Change Are Censored
Sim-bols Of Change Are Censored .....

Oops, bang goes the morals of Communist and Islamic states .... so they have done what they always do when faced with an imponderable, and banned the game. The countries that have banned the game so far are China, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Oman, Kuwait, and Egypt. Its interesting to note that Qatar is the host of the FIFA World cup in 2022, so visitors beware.

Who Are We Helping

Britain gives £47m to China in foreign aid .... and China has its own foreign aid department which gives money to Russia. So how much of the Chinese and Russian space programs do we pay for ... well about £47m apparently?

Money For Nothing

I've known a few people who were 'careful with their money,' but I don't think even the tightest (and I can think of one man who was legendary for selling anything he didn't want, even broken items on eBay), can match Mr Xia of Xi, a city in China. Enraged when he was short changed by the Yonghui chain of stores, he took them to court .... the amount in dispute was the princely total of £0.0046 pence. However he had a point (and in this instance a legal case), as he won both an apology from the chain for 'not respecting his consumer rights,' as well as his change, plus £5.72 'costs'.

Ping Pong

A man in Rudong county in China, was pulled over by the police on 17 April for suspected drink-driving. He took the test and the breathalyser went 'ping' (so to speak), so despite his protestations, he was taken to the police station. However a blood sample taken showed no alcohol, and neither did another breathalyser test.

Durian Fruit .... Notoriously Smelly
Durian Fruit .... Notoriously Smelly

The police now took his claim that "I've just eaten durian fruit!" more seriously, and a police officer ate some of the notoriously smelly fruit .... another breathalyser test confirmed that his alcohol level directly after eating durian was 36mg per 100ml (the Chinese drink drive limit is 20mg per 100ml). It appears that mouthwash, Lychee fruit, and amazingly even 'hot cross buns' can give a false positive on a breathalyser test.

Snake Bites

Peng Fan, a chef in Guandong China was preparing an Indo-Chinese cobra snake for cooking .... this involved cutting the poor creatures head off. Twenty minutes later he went to throw its head in the bin, when the head bit him, injecting him with a deadly toxin, and despite efforts from the kitchen staff, he died before an antidote could be injected. I can't help agreeing with the snake on this matter.

Spiderman

A man in in his 60's in Dalian, China, was complaining to his family and doctor that he was hearing pounding sounds in his ears. Eventually he was examined, only for the doctor to find a very small spider in his ear, spinning webs ....

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