Friday, 5 June 2020

The Massey Murderer (and Other Mechanical Wonders)

In shades of Christine the killer car ....

Christine Was A Killer .....

... a 60 year old Massey-Ferguson tractor owned by farmer Horace Camp in Guernsey in the Channel Isles, has spontaneously started up twice during a thunderstorm ....

Massey Ferguson "Devil Tractor"
 
And once started a fire in a field .... earning it the nickname "The Devil" 

It also attracted the interest of Dr Vidyadhar Peesapati, who is a research expert in electrical energy at the University of Manchester. He wanted to try and replicate The Devils electrical phenomenon in a laboratory environment.

Idle Hands Are The Devils Playthings

Following on from the rise of the sex robots, it was only a matter of time before the 'oral sex bot' arose .... and its here (and now on sale).

Autoblow A.I. .... For The Man Bored By Lock Down Or His Partner ....

Presumably invented to make the five fingered widow redundant, its called Autoblow A.I. and it was created by US developer Brian Stone.

They 'taught it' the actions after studying 108 hours of porn videos. from such as Linda Lovelace (imagine how the movie Deep Throat would have played if this device had been popular back then .... 'Deep Blow' hahaha). So far the device is devised only for men's use, and wasn't patented when it was announced (however its now on sale, so presumably it's now patented). It has ten speeds, and gives a "quieter experience, that won't alert people to your activities." ... Eek!! Where does he believe are these users are going to do this, on public transport?

Mr Stone has vowed to keep working on the devices development "to improve the orgasms" ..... so, what with the confusion of what sex you are really dating these days, it seems inevitable that Western males will simply die out, as they stick to robots instead of women.

What a strange world, and even stranger times we now live in .... 

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