Friday, 16 October 2020

Money Eating Snakes

Some criminals, don't make much effort to get away with their crimes  .....

Wanted - A Brain
Wanted - A Brain.

For instance, a Nigerian sales clerk for the Nigerian examination board has been suspended, after she told auditors that a snake had eaten 36m Naira ( $100,000 or £72,250), in bank notes.

Quite why the meat eating snake would consume this large amount of totally inedible paper, she wasn't able to explain .... nor indeed, what she was doing while this curious event occurred, as it must have taken a considerable length of time.

The Nigerian Eagle Devours The Money Eating Snake
The Nigerian Eagle Devours The Money Eating Snake

Needless to say, the Nigerian Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board, which collects students fees, were able to dismiss this wild claim and started disciplinary proceedings. Nigeria's anti-corruption agency, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, are unencumbered by Western political correctness or multiculturalism, and therefore didn't have to spend the weeks treating this as a real possibility that the UK authorities would have .... and even made a joke of her claims on social media (along with hundreds of others on social media).

Then There Is Dozy Daz

Any one planning a robbery, would normally 'case the joint' first, and plan their escape route. So when Daniel Shaw and his two accomplice, had just completed robbing a jewellery store in Carlisle, England, by smashing a window, and taking £12,000 worth of items, you would think the easiest part would be to get to their car and escape (at least for a while).

Daniel Shaw - Idiot Smash And Grab Raid In Carlisle
Smash Grab And Wallop ..... Caught

But as they were running down the street heading for their getaway. dozy Daz ran straight into a street sign. He dislocated his shoulder and fell fracturing a collar bone, and he and his two accomplices were all captured by the police inside a few minutes (but not all the stolen items were recovered, including the jewellers wife's wedding ring which had been on display). The damage to the shop window cost £2,375 to repair. The value of the jewellery that was not recovered was put at £8,638, but the personal loss to the jeweller and his wide, was inestimable.

Dazed Daz got 20 months in a young offenders institute (the accomplices, Mark Wallace and Jordan Nolan, got similar sentences). If I was a criminal job advisor, I would suggest that they think about another line of villainy.

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