The Stinging Truth

What did the Romans do for us? .....

The "People's Front of Judea" Discuss The
Question Of What The Romans Did For Them.

.... is a very popular trope, that comes to us via the Monty Python teams Life of Brian movie, where the "People's Front of Judea" discuss that question ..

When asked, its usually followed by a long long list of things such as (and this is by no means everything):

• The idea of luxury living e.g. Roman villas, such as Littlecote Roman Villa, with its elaborate mosaics and ornate gardens. 
• State armies, not personal forces.
• The screw press, used to produce wine, and a thousand years later in the first printing press.
• The idea of a civil clean water supply with aqueducts.- sadly we didn't copy this until the late Victorian age.
• Sewage systems - sadly we didn't copy this either until the late Victorian age.
• The concept of central heating with hypocaust's (under floor heating systems).
• Specialised cooking instruments used to create 3-course Roman meals.
• Medicine and Surgery with trained (usually Greek) doctors.
• Prefabrication. They brought Pre-fabricated forts to help secure conquest victory .... William the Conqueror brought over exactly the same sort of pre-packed fort in 1066.
• Light houses (called Pharos) .... they copied this from the Greeks and Egypt.
• The idea of draining marshes, and diversifying crops.
• Takeaway meals, with fast food takeaways including pies, pastries, sausages and even hamburgers.
• Civil fire brigades for large conurbations, and even pump action fire hoses.
• Mass produced pottery, and glass etc - better standards.
• Double Glazing and Glass windows
• Post cards and the literacy required to write them - see Vinolanda finds.
• Roads. How to build them (groma surveying and odometers). Their roads were used continually for the next 1200 years, because we couldn't make them as well.
• International travel - This idea transferred into pilgrimages to Rome or the Holy Land in the Saxon era e.g Saxon King Alfred went to Rome as a child and met the pope in 853AD 

The list goes on and on ..... water powered saws and rock grinders, wine (to Britain etc), a money economy, and even a universal language (Latin), which allowed scholars and politicians right up to the Renaissance, to converse with each other, even though they were from different countries.

 ..... But I had never heard that stinging nettles were introduced to Britain by Roman soldiers, but apparently some believe that to be true .... The legend has it that they found the country so cold and damp, that they would flagellate themselves with the nettles that they had imported, to keep themselves warm.

Now I have to say that this seems a most unlikely story, so how it got any traction I have no idea.

Romans In Their Woollen Trousers ....

Whilst some Romans, especially those from hot parts of the Empire would undoubtedly have found it cold here, especially in winter, they knew how to knit gloves, socks, underwear and also wore a type of knee length woolen trousers, and had woollen beanies under their helmets (to stop metal fittings banging directly on the skull bone). Also, anyone who has been to Italy in the winter, will know that its as cold, if not colder than Britain, but that the winters are also considerably shorter, however they still had to dress suitably for it.

So I can only presume that this nestles story is a myth-conception. First thing to note is that the they wouldn't have found many nettles to beat themselves with in winter, as they are a summer plant and die back in the Autumn .... so not much use to soldiers or anyone else to get warm with.

However the Romans did use nettles in a process called urtification (beating with nettles), but only as a genuine treatment for Arthritis and Rheumatism (which they may have felt more in the British cold haha), and its still used for this reason now.

Finally, archaeologists have found evidence of nettle use (as a spring green being eaten), as far back as the Bronze Age in Britain ..... so it was actually here and stinging the unwary, a good few thousands of years before the Romans ever got here.