Friday, 8 July 2022

The Two Forgotten R's

Reading and Writing are part of the three R's (Reading, Writing and Arithmetic) ...

The Three R's
The Three R's

.. that we are all supposed to learn as basic to be able to function in our society.

In fact 'Readin, Rightin, and Rithmatic' ... as the old school teachers mantra makes them sound, applies equally to those who are going to rise to the top of our societies, and those who are not going to fully function in our society. The lowlifes, who are settling on leeching off society via a life of crime. But of course 'Rightin' is not as useful if it doesn't include an 'S' ... 'Spellin'.

This is never truer when you are going to to become a bank robber, where you will need to exercise Rightin and Rithmatic .... but also will rely on 'Spellin'. This was proved when Alan Slattery, a 67 year old 'retired' criminal (I assume that means he gets a state means tested pension), from St Leonards-On-Sea, East Sussex, who decided that although he had 'retired' and had a pension it wasn't enough, and so he would rob a few banks or building societies in the area. 
 
Crap Robber Should Have Learnt His 3 R's
Crap Robber Should Have Learnt His 3 R's ....

However it all went wrong at the first attempt when he handed over a demand note to the bank teller, who couldn't read it because it was almost indecipherable, and the would be bank robber lost his nerve and ran out. Staff later deciphered it as saying 'Your screen won't stop what I've got, just hand over the 10s and 20s'
 
He had escaped that botched attempt, but police were now looking for him as he was on the banks CCTV, and seemingly learnt something from that first failure, as he targeted two more banks over the next fortnight, where he was successful in getting £2,400 from one of them, but again was challenged in the last attempt, and fled empty handed (oddly this last failure was on April the 1st - April Fools Day!) ..... but once a crap robber always a crap robber. 
 
He was spotted on CCTV getting on a bus on one of his escapes, and police identified him because he used his old age pension bus pass. In court he admitted robbery and two counts of attempted robbery, and Lewes crown court sentenced him to 4 years plus 2 years licence ... I assume that low sentence for a determined, if illiterate bank robber, was because of his age.
 
But perhaps we should add two more 'R's' to the school curriculum, .... Right and Rong?

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