Backside Backfires

In North Korea it is virtually a death sentence to defile or damage any images of the leadership, especially images of the Kim family.

Don't Dis The Kim's

Similarly, this is the case in the other despotic regimes around the world.

In many, trampling on the national flag, or somehow desecrating a holy book (its OK to blow up opponents versions of the same book for some reason), or even allowing children to name a teddy bear, has similarly harsh punishments.

However, you have to wonder at the lack of connection with their people of despots who self aggrandise to such an extent, that every page in the newspaper has a picture of them opening some building, or giving stern advice to scientists etc. I mean that you might think that portraying yourself as a demi-god, or at least supreme being and overlord, would mean that you would avoid putting yourself in a position where your image could be in any way damaged. But no, such is the toadying that the locals have to practice, that the image of the great leader is omnipresent in the streets, private homes and most of all, the media.         

The reason why this can be such a problem is nicely illustrated by recent events in Turkmenistan, where community policing officers in the western region of Balkan are reportedly now instructed to check toilets in both public spaces and private houses, for evidence that the locals have been using strips of newspapers containing photographs of President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov to wipe their backsides with.

Turkmenistan Newspapers Feature One Man, and Only One Man.

This by the way, is not a job I would want in an million years .... toilets in Turkmenistan are likely to be unsavoury affairs in the best of places, but certainly in the backwoods areas of the country. To make matters worse, there are janitors at the landfill sites, who have been told to search for the Turkmen leader's "soiled" pictures, among garbage at waste collection points. This detritus can apparently be backtracked to the originators ~ how was not described, but we assume the old soviet systems allow for this.

However, apparently, in a bit of presidential benevolence to his wayward children, the first time offender will be warned as to their future conduct in this regard, but fines or imprisonment will be the punishment for second offences. The reports are from a credible source, the Moscow-based news website Fergana.ru, and they follow other reports that young children have been detained over damaging portraits of President Berdimuhamedov.

In one case the children accidentally dropped the presidents newspaper picture, and then trampled on it while playing (that Muslim shoe issue again). In another report, children were allegedly detained for adding a moustache and a beard to the picture of the country's leader. 

The reason why I mentioned the foresight of a leader not putting themselves in a position where their image could be in any way disrespected, is that in the local press in Turkmenistan, the Presidents image features on nearly every page, in a personality cult kind of way .... but Turkmenistan is a poor country, and people can't afford toilet paper. So because people in Turkmenistan are forced to subscribe to a number of national newspapers, which they equally can ill afford and likely don't even read, the temptation to use them as toilet paper is high.  

So I would like to give a dignity saving suggestion to despots the world over ... have your picture on the front two pages, and the centre spread as well if you must, but leave the rest of the newspaper for your people to enjoy as they think best!