Dumb, Dumber And Dumbest

Bonita Springs, Florida may have seen the stupidest thieves of all time, and that's going some. The three thieves decided that the way not to get caught was adopt a disguise that may never have been used before?

On Sunday 20th July 2014, they broke into Doc's Beach House in Bonita Beach, Southwest Florida USA where they took ....just 60 hamburgers (no cash kept on premises after a real theft some years earlier). They then made their getaway, leaving only a trail of red peppers on the beach. Who knows, that might have been all there was to it .... a broken door, 60 missing hamburgers, and trail of red peppers (not red herrings) on a beach.

However this crime raised itself to a new level of ridiculousness because:

1. Firstly, the security cameras were on, and they wore no masks, and 
2. Secondly, they also wore nothing else .... well two had not a stitch on, and the other had just his skid marks (underwear).

Dumb, Dumber And Dumbest

The waitress who first saw the security film, branded them as "dumb, dumber and dumbest," and as it was shown on 'Wink News' TV, who can argue with that?

Aping The Capeman

In July 2014, reports from Moscow Russia stated that in a Moscow bank, a man walked in dressed as Batman the caped crusader, and after walking up to the counter, he then tried to rob the bank by demanding the staff give him money. But as Robin might have said, 'Holy Humiliation Batman' ... the staff just started laughing at him. The more he demanded, the more they laughed, and despite a couple of half hearted attempts to give him some money, they just kept stitching up in fresh gales of laughter.

After a few minutes of this, the caped bandit gave up, and beat a hasty retreat out on to the mean Moscow streets ..... police are still hunting for the Bat Cave, where he's believed to be holed up, nursing his bruised pride.

Now this story tweaked a memory, and sure enough, this was not the first burgling Batman I had come across .... in June 2013, at the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo, there was a robbery of the Fair's VIP building early on a Thursday morning, by three teens, where one of the youths was dressed up in a Batman onesie.

As usual with these stories, the idiots in the suits, did not match the heroes they were aping ... the trio of thieves took some televisions, a laptop and an empty cash register .... and then to cap a dumb evening, the suspects managed to lock themselves in to the building, and had to 'break out'.
 

Batman Later Wished He Had Kept The Mask On

The local paper, the Pueblo Chieftain, reported that the 'Batman' youth, had also neglected to wear a mask inside the building, where security cameras caught his likeness, and KRDO-TV, the local TV company had broadcast the robbery film on the news that evening.

How The Story Was Reported In Pueblo Colorado

Batman (who wasn't named because of his age), gave himself up to the police, and faced charges including burglary and criminal mischief .... but Batman isn't a stoolie, and police were still seeking the other two suspects.

Hands That Do Washing

There is a strange kind of regime resistance going on in Iran - while the manual working class, and the badly educated, welcomed and still mostly support the regime of the Mullahs (a similar phenomena occurs in Turkey with the ruling political party), the upper class and educated middle-classes never really took to the rule of the mosque with quite so much (or any) enthusiasm.

Chained To Kitchen Sink - Iranian Style

Recently, these educated under 30's - the children of those parents so cowed by the violence of the new regime when the Shah fell - have increasingly shown sparks of resentment. There were all those 'liberal' green marches of a couple of years ago, that were crushed with considerable force, but since then, there have been flickers of the embers, that suggest that the regime may not last forever. 

 

One Justice or No Justice

Regional News 23rd July:

A five-year-old boy has been left with a broken leg after a hit-and-run in Blackburn.
Lancashire Police said the boy was hit in Whitwell Place at 20:00 BST on Wednesday. He was kept in the Royal Blackburn Hospital overnight. The driver is described as an "Asian woman wearing a burkha", who was in a silver car. Police from the road policing unit, appealed for witnesses and the driver to come forward.

OK where do I start with this story ....

• What could a new witness describe ... an "Asian woman wearing a burkha"? They already got that, so only a number plate would help.
• How could an identification parade work? All women in a burkha look identical ... not even their children know by sight. (Its one of the spurious reasons that some Saudi's put forward against women driving in that country ... can't ID the driver. )
• For less serious offences - no one would ever be able to identify the driver of a car from police cameras etc, even if the number plates were seen. You can only detain on reasonable suspicion, but not prosecute.

As an example of this last point, I recently saw a UK police 'reality' show from the Midlands, where 3 Asian youths had been caught speeding around an estate in a car with no documents etc, but all denied being the driver. One of them had the car keys in his pocket which the police confiscated ... he said he had been looking after them 'for the driver' who had 'run off' when the police caught the car.

The police were made to look stupid by three 17 yr olds, who even got cocky without being arrested ... one of them telling the police officer that 'you look like your educated, yeah?', because despite the obvious lying, the Crown Prosecution Service are too inept to be able to prosecute this sort of case (the solution is to prosecute them all, like they do in gang murders). Insult was added to injury, when as the police impounded the car to be crushed (there being 'no owner' ... and it wasn't insured or taxed), the man who had been 'looking after the keys' demanded that they give him back his house keys, which had somehow attached themselves to the 'drivers' car keys, in the few seconds that the police took to stop them (and in which Einsteinian time, the driver had also managed to 'run off' unseen be anyone).

One Justice or No Justice?

While we continue to pussyfoot around Asians and other groups like this (because they may be offended by anything we do, or even by our laws), and don't apply laws equally to them, as well as the rest of us, then the anger amongst those of us who are not allowed to get away with this nonsense, just grows.

We either have the same laws for all, applied equally for all, or no laws, and let us sort out issues by the mob - something many immigrant groups would find to be 'just like justice back home'.            

A Viking Funeral

When I was a kid, I saw Kirk Douglas in "The Vikings" .....

The Ship With The Vikings Body Sails Out, With Fire Arrows Landing Aboard

 

..... great music, and a larger than life performance by Kirk Douglas as the eponymous 'Viking', 'Einar'.

Weegie Week

A few years ago I was contracting in the Fylde coast region, and naturally took Bed and Breakfast accommodation in Blackpool during the week. At the time, Blackpool still had more visitors per anuum than Greece & the Greek Islands, and with around 120,000 holiday beds, it had more beds than the whole of Portugal. ... it sounds astounding, but apparently was true. Sadly it doesn't have the weather of Greece or Portugal, but that's another tale ....

An Early Start To The Bevvies, Allows You To Catch Some Rays!

This led me to become very familiar with the town and the area, and to the phenomena known locally as Scots Week

Even Not Believing Is A Crime

One of the many issues Islam has with the rest of the world at the moment is its own basic insecurity ..... 

 

Belief In Islam Requires Legal Enforcement

 

.... by that I mean that any belief system that has to condemn to death anyone who tries to leave it, or anyone who believes there are different ways to practise the same faith, has some really big self belief problems. 

Where Being Happy Is A Crime

When the citizens of Iran decided to overthrow the Shah's government, they presumably did so in the expectation of happier times ahead.

 

Happy? Not In Iran

Well roll on thirty five years, and we now know that as well as gaining a wealthy corrupt clergy (who are very happy), we now understand that in Iran, happiness is circumscribed by what the religion and the regime say is allowable.

 

Brazil Nuts

Apart from the Subbuteo world cup dioramas there was of course one other major story ..... so epic indeed that it sent shock-waves around the world, well the football world.

It was of course the utter annihilation of the Brazil football team beneath the juggernaut of 'Die Mannschaft' of the united Germany. The shock-waves of the totality of the defeat, 7 - 1 at home, will no doubt ripple down the next few years, but I am not primarily interested in that, nor the myriad of records that were broken on the night.

No, I was interested in any of that, but the fact that I unexpectedly felt a large degree of Schadenfreude as the goals piled in .... I didn't know that I cared LOL. But the part of this story that really tickled my funny bone was the Internet Memes that swept across globe on social media on the night. I have collected a few, and re-publish them for posterity, and those like me, who are largely oblivious of Tweets and Facebook etc.

 

No commentary for these is required ....... the whole night in seven pictures.  

No Brainiacs These Two

I won't even pretend that I was going to resist this story .... I have a long 'previous' on Superhero stories.

So here we are with the tale of not one, but two Superman's .... but Brainiacs they are not.   

No Brainiacs these Supermen

Now as they had no car insurance (an offence in the UK), you might think that they would try to be inconspicuous but no, they decided to take the rear window out of their car, and replace it with a red cape as they cruised the M42 motorway. Needless to say, it wasn't long before the forces of steel, aka the West Midlands police force made them pull over and arrested them.

With social media being what it is, once the traffic police tweeted the picture above, with the commentary 'We don't work for Lex Luthor but we had to remove Superman's wheels from the road', it prompted comment from across the world. 

One was from the Oklahoma Sheriffs Department in the US who tweeted back 'Nice work! Not even Superman has a chance against police Kryptonite'  .... this elicited a response from the UK traffic police who promised that 'We'll send Superman back to you'

Zwarte Piet Is Blauw Piet

Zwarte Piet is the black companion of Saint Nicholas (Sinterklaas in Dutch) in the folklore of the Low Countries .... although it has to be said that he is a comparatively new 'folklore', the character being created in the 1850 book 'Sint Nikolaas en zijn Knecht ("Saint Nicholas and his Servant")', by Jan Schenkman. Still folklore is folklore, and so for over 100 years the character helped St Nick judge whether little boys and girls were deserving of Christmas presents.

He does this by listening at chimney pots for children's behaviour, which is possibly a throw back to earlier times when Wodan's Wild Hunt rode forth, and his two black ravens listened at smoke holes, to tell Wodan about the good and bad behaviour of the mortals.

Although similar to other such companions of Saint Nicholas in Belgium, Hungary, France, Germany, and Wallonia, the difference, is why all the fuss is being generated .... in Holland the actors put on blackface make-up and colourful Renaissance attire, in addition to curly wigs, red lipstick and earrings.
 

Sint Nikolaas en zijn Knecht

Needless to say, this has led to the PC brigade attacking the character even though according to a 2013 survey, 92% of the Dutch public don't perceive Zwarte Piet as racist, or associate him with slavery, and 91% are opposed to altering the character's appearance ..... but then the PC brigade are not actually democrats are they?

So here we are with an anti racist group led court action pending, and sadly, the usual weaker groups who, despite the Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte, a long time defender of the Zwarte Piet tradition, stating that "It is an old Dutch children's tradition" .... have capitulated with barely a fight, and painted 'Black Pete' blue. The BBC have reported that the Amsterdam regional court, perhaps unsurprisingly has decided that Zwarte Piet is a "negative stereotype of black people", duh, really?

Zwarte Piet Is Blauw Piet

Of course this wouldn't be a race story if the BBC didn't have their own take on the issue of 'Black facing', so it was no surprise that they ran a story on 'Is it always racist to black up your face?' .... this after some (white) German football fans were seen 'Blackfaced' in Brazil, before the World Cup game against Ghana.

However the moral outrage of the story was somewhat watered down, and lost some considerable amount of steam, when someone posted a pictures of a Ghana fan at the game ....

Sorry, Which One Is Being The Racist Again?

 
..... oh irony, where is thy sting.

Veiled Threat Banned

With the news that the European Court has upheld the French 'full veil ban', one has to ask how long before other European nations adopt the same bans .... I don't mean the UK, we are incapable of doing anything, no I mean the southern, and central European member states (or even the Dutch), who are not so in thrall to Political Correctness?

No matter how 'liberal' some one is, I defy anyone who is not a Muslim, to not feel intensely uncomfortable in the company of someone who adopts this backward dress style. It's an intensely obvious rejection of the society that these Muslims have chosen to live in, and feels threatening to us .... its also a total rejection of the idea that men and women are equal, and in fact, of any tolerant integration.

"We're a tolerant and mutually respectful society."
Damian Green, Immigration Minister.

I for one would walk out of any shop or public body that employed staff dressed like that, never to transact with them again. I don't care what others think on this matter, but I know that I am not alone in this intense dislike of this aggressive proclamation of difference. Many others feel the same, even though they rarely say anything outside of their friends, such is the stranglehold that PC has on open speech.

I might add that it also makes something of a mockery of our 'tolerant and mutually respectful society', that Christians wearing a small cross, can be banned from many public spaces or employment, while this far more aggressive statement of 'faith' is permitted without any public condemnation by our leaders.

Subbuteo Hand Of God

The World Cup has ended in the usual manner for the England football team, and its ever deluded supporters (although fair to say the number of deluded has diminished markedly since 2002). Still it seems a good time to post two moments from England's World Cup history .... but in Subbuteo form. 

First up, the infamous 'Hand Of God' by that cheating little git, Madonna, sorry Maradona.

Cheating, Argentine Style - Subbuteo

Followed by our one moment of glory .... Wembley Stadium, Bobby Moore, 1966 and all that ...

 England Win World Cup - Subbuteo

These and over 500 other such World Cup dioramas are the work of artist Terry Lee from Exeter, but who now lives in Brazil .... he hasn't gone completely mad though, when asked about the chances for England, he said "I don't see England doing well" ... which was true enough. 

Tanks For Nothing

When a tank roles out onto the street in a protest, it normally conjures up visions of the repressive regime using force to stamp out protest, like Tienanmen square, or maybe a military junta ousting a left wing but elected governments .... it doesn't conjure up visions of Bristol in the United Kingdom.

Tank Protester

But street protests took a new turn in that provincial town, when a tank rolled down the cramped streets of Clifton to protest .... against plans for a residents' parking zone in Bristol. The Traders, angry with what they perceived as a treat to their trade have driven a 1942 Sherman tank around the streets of Clifton in protest ..... they said that they had chosen a tank because it represented a way of "defending your territory". 

The local Mayor and strong arm of authority, George Ferguson was unimpressed and tweeted: "This is getting ridiculous" (does no one ever issue press statements anymore?) and added that it was "Hardly the best way of winning over the good residents of Clifton".
 

The Police Saw The Funny Side

He did however later admit that he had laughed at the tank "prank" but that the mind "boggles at them trying to navigate it through some of our streets, which currently suffer from particularly inconsiderate parking". 

Its a surprise that the Health and Safety police didn't try to stop the protest, but the real police didn't intervene, which tells you much about how tolerant we still are, in a country that's fast losing its ability to laugh, as PC policies enforce ever harsher rules about dissent.

PC Doggerel

During a televised post-match interview with the 'Showtime' presenter, the black boxer Adrien Broner, referred to himself as the "can man" and said:

"Anybody can get it. Afri-cans, 

I just beat the f--k out of a Mexi-can."

The 'Mexi-can' being referred to was Carlos Molina - an American of Mexican heritage - who he had just beaten in a Welterweight boxing bout. Now apart from the gratuitous usage of the F word, this little bit of doggerel seems fairly harmless, given the context of two men trying to knock each others heads off.

Not so ... If you thought that, you obviously don't understand the rules of politically correct 'do's and 'don'ts'.

Calling someone a 'Mexi-can' is, and I selectively quote from the WBC statement, a "racially offensive statement", if the "words were intended to be disrespectful and offensive", since "words have different meanings and can be interpreted in different ways" .....

So presumably, calling anyone a 'Mexican' if you don't respect them, is now a sacking offence in the US? .... good luck with that then. Has anyone at the US based WBC ever seen the portrayal of Mexicans in 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad'? In fact it could be thought that considering the word "Mexican" to be potentially racist, is more racist in thought, than anything he actually said.

Family Guy's - Mexi-can Funeral

Mr Broner has received an indefinite suspension from the sport until he "makes a public apology satisfactory to the public of the world" .... I can't help thinking that there is some linkage with the furore surrounding the 'LA Clippers' basketball team owner Donald Sterling, who was banned for life for comments made in a 'private phone call' that were recorded, and maliciously leaked to the press.

Recent events such as these above, the row over Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore, whose private 'sexist emails', were also maliciously leaked by someone working in his office, and the forced resignation of Brendan Eich from the Firefox job, for a private political contribution, suggest to me that we now have entered the stage, where the PC Brigades now feel happy to spy on, leak against, and otherwise terrorise, anyone who they think deserves to be brought low.

Whatever next for daring to think the unthinkable? .... I almost despair that this PC madness will never end .... the Emperor was only exposed to be as naked as a jay bird, when a child shouts out that 'he's got no clothes on' ... the PC brigade will only be stopped, when a major politician fights back and denounces them for the bullies that they are.

Is She Packin?

Now we are all aware of body scanners and X-ray machines at airports etc, but how many of think about the need to scan people entering prison cells after being arrested?

Ms Harris and Her Contraband

 
Its long been well known that convicted male prisoners often conceal bladed weapons known as 'shanks' (aka 'banger' or 'burner'), or 'kites' (small written messages) in their backsides, but recently American police have had to deal with the female of the species, using the advantages nature gives them, to stash ever more elaborate objects from their attentions ....