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Friday 23 February 2024

E=MC2 (Where C = Chipbutty)

Now while we were fighting a world in pandemic and are now  staring down the barrel of threatened nuclear obliteration (from Russia), the scientists at the Nottingham Trent University came up with the following formula.


... now you might be wondering what wonder of the future that this formula will unlock?

Perhaps a cure for cancer, or maybe the key to faster than light travel .... but sadly the answer is rather mundane. Its the formula for the perfect chip butty (French fries sandwich for my American readers)

Yes the scientists, who had been commissioned by the food retail chain Iceland, spent considerable time testing portion sizes, temperatures, timings and peoples eating habits and preferences before coming up with their conclusions.

They determined that the most frequent mistake was not using enough chips. The keys to the formula are that (C) is the weight of chips, (B) is the weight of the bread, (K) is the amount of Ketchup and (M) is the mass of the butter. The (C) should be 12 thick-cut chips weighing 60g. The (B) should be two medium cut pieces of buttered white bread, weighing 40g plus ketchup.

Too few chips meant the butter wouldn't melt while too many and you couldn't taste the bread/butter.

The conclusion:

  1. Cook 12 thick cut chips for 22 minutes at 200c
  2. Thinly butter two medium slices of white bread.
  3. Add the chips and tomato ketchup (not mayo, or brown sauce).
  4. Wait 30 seconds to allow for butter melt and cooling.
  5. Eat.

I thought about this quite a bit as I have included a chip butty in my favourites for some time (well, the whole of my life 😋), and am not sure how you can cook them for 22 minutes (they usually take 10 minutes at a moderate heat), while I absolutely agree that it should be white bread (a Warburtons Toastie always works well), and that the butter should always start melting, I personally think that chip shop chips from the chippie work best of all.

As an alternative, chips in a freshly made French Baguette is also pretty tasty.

Bon Appétit:

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