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Friday, 30 September 2016

Playing Your Last Hand

I can never resist these 'wake' stories when they come up .... so the news that a gambler, Mr Henry Rosario of Puerto Rico had played poker at his own funeral caught my eye. He died suddenly aged just 31 years and his friends decide to pay to have him fully embalmed.

Last Hands Come In Various Forms ...

They then set up a poker table one last time, and sat him in one of the chairs with a pile of poker chips and proceeded to play his last hand ... sadly the report doesn't state whether he won or not.

Punch The PC Warriors

It was reported in the UK press that Barry Island council had taken the decision to cancel and ban a Punch and Judy show from their 'Beats, Eats and Treats' festival. The reason for this decision was given as being because some PC Warrior on the councils entertainment committee, has decided that the show contained 'inappropriate' violence, as well as an 'abusive' relationship between Punch and Judy.

Mr Punch Has Ancient Antecedents ....

You can hardly make this crappola up .... personally I would sack whomever came up with this because they obviously are:

(a) Stupider than Punchinello (Mr Punch), and
(b) Don't actually have a real job.

South Africa's Surprising Maturity

South Africa has had nationwide local government elections - these have passed off peacefully and with nearly 80% of the votes counted the Independent Electoral Commission (IEC) says voter turnout stood at about 58% of eligible voters - slightly more than the previous municipal elections in 2011.

ANC Stay In Power But Not Everywhere ..... But Peacefully

More importantly the vote was peaceful and there was even enough space for the IEC boss Mosotho Moepya, to appeal for patience, as people waited for final results, saying his team wanted to make sure there was "due diligence and accuracy”. Mr Moepya also thanked over 200,000 election officials for their work, as well South Africans for voting peacefully and passionately.

Broken US Politics

With the US Presidential election campaign still rumbling on (it begins to seem never-ending) ..... 8th November is voting day if you still want to know .... many of us non US citizens are surprised at how close it still apparently is. The polls after the first live TV 'debate' showed Clinton just 4% ahead of Trump.

Way Too Close For Hilary's Liking ....

Its actually hard for us to really understand how Mr Trump, who has been caught outright lying on 35% of his statements during the campaign (as opposed to the 12% of times Mrs Clinton has been caught doing so), could even still be a credible candidate ..... but then we miss the point of how thoroughly disliked Mrs Clinton is across vast swathes of North America.

Friday, 23 September 2016

Workmen's Compensations

Workman theft is something most householders have considered whenever they have had workmen in .... which is why if its indoor work, we mostly arrange to be in ourselves .. 'just to keep an eye on things'. However when its gardening or outdoor work being performed we rarely consider there to be much risk.

Garden Gnome Hostage Taking Is Rare ...

After all its not likely that workmen will steal your shrubs or garden gnomes etc.

Scratchcard Scam

There is a scam going on in the UK’s National Lottery scratch cards. How do I know? Why because I only just found out that I had been hit by it today.

Everyone A Winner

I had bought some lottery scratch cards sometime ago (at least 180 days plus it appears), but had forgotten I had them. Today I found them again and scrapped the silver foil off, and found that out of £3.00 worth of cards, I had won the grand sum of £2.00 back. Not a great amount I grant you, but hey, its 2/3rds of the money spent.

The Art Of The Insult

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte recently described US President Barak Obama as the "son of a whore" .... a move he will likely regret unless Donald Trump becomes US President. However insulting people, only to later regret it, is not uncommon, even amongst world leaders.

President Duterte Has A long history Of Insults And Colourful language ....

A Syrian defence minister, General Mustafa Tlass once described the Palestinian Authorities leader, Yasser Arafat, as the "son of 60,000 whores" .... a row then broke out.

Welcome To The House Of Peace

As usual the world of Islam is in conflict, and even more as usual, its as much with itself as the rest of us.
The Sunnis and the Shia's (the two major strands of the 7th century Islamic schism), despise each other and will rarely stand on the same side of any argument within Islam, although more so when it involves non-believers.

Of Course It Always Someone Else's Fault.

Of course in recent centuries they have not had to consider these issues much, as the mainstream of both factions (Iran and the Arabs), have been under colonial rule by British, French and the Ottoman Turks for hundreds of years until the 20th Century.

Friday, 16 September 2016

Contentious Chinese

Chinese housewives are well known for being able to keep up a good row, but some sort of record was set recently in Ankang, in north China's Shaanxi Province, when two middle-aged women hospitalised themselves after a lengthy row. This was not because they had resorted to violence, although they must have been sorely tempted.

Chinese Women Know How To Row ... To The Death (well nearly)

No this hospitalisation was because they had simply worn each other out, in the mother of all stand up street arguments over ..... well, it could only be one of two things, money or men. I doubt any woman would row for eight hours over any man, but money, well that's another matter.

All Coat And No Knickers

As part of my 'Broken Britain' series of posts I occasionally highlight areas where our society is exhibiting signs of breakdown or collapse. This post is, I hope, a one off, but I am not so sure it is.

It involves Folkestone, not a town you would associate with a societal breakdown, indeed a place that brings to mind, retirees and gentlefolk wandering its board-walks. Or mayhap you think of the ferries to the continent (if they still go from there). However it appears that the rise of the underclass has hit even this seaside dead-zone retirement area.

Undressing In Stores Not Completely Rare .....

Like all towns these days, Folkestone has a shopping centre (at Bouverie Place), in which there is a Primark (which for my non UK readers is a cheap clothing superstore, which the UK has in most towns). These stores have changing rooms to try things on, but of course there are something such as women's lingerie that can't be tried on in any shop .... or so you would have thought.

The Kiss

Do you know  this couple?

George Mendonsa and Greta Zimmer Friedman .... Iconic Photograph

No?

Policing The World

A man with the hacker name of "Guccifer" was convicted in a Romania of hacking email accounts in 2014, and given four years imprisonment. Then the USA comes along in March 2016, and says that the man should be extradited to the USA to face further charges, because some of those hacked email accounts were Americans. He was duly extradited, and pleaded guilty in May 2016 to charges of aggravated identify theft and unauthorised access of a computer, and was then sentenced to a further 52 months in an American prison.

Extradition Is Rarely Voluntary ...

Now to me this is hardly just or fair .... he had already served two years for the same offence in a Romanian prison, which is hardly a honey hole by any description ... then the US decides that this is not punishment enough, and extradites him at about the time he might have expected to be released on probation, for what was after all was a white collar crime.

Friday, 9 September 2016

Swedish Bikini Girl Policewoman

I dreamt of this happening all my life!! Fantasies of Baywatch crept unbidden into my mind ...

The story happens in Stockholm's Ralambshov Park on Wednesday the 27th July 2016, where an off-duty policewoman was sunbathing with friends. A man approached them claiming to be selling publications on behalf of the homeless e.g. The Big Issue in the UK.

Mikaela Kellner Swedish Bikini Cop .....

He then began lingering, setting some papers down over their blanket and then got up and left, collecting his papers as he did so, one of the group noticed that her phone was missing. At this point the bikini clad heroine and stickler for the law Mikaela Kellner lept into action.

Name Calling

Did you know that the police lead on knife crime at the National Police Chiefs' Council in the UK …. Is a 'Alfred Hitchcock' (apparently known as ‘Alf’) .…. So the namesake of the director of many films involving blades - famously 'psycho' with its frenzied knife killings - ends up in that particular job.

This little news snippet made me wonder if there are any other ironically suitable job holders out there.

Well, there are a lot .... and just for starters.
  • Professor 'Jules Angst', a German professor of psychiatry, who has published works about anxiety.
  • 'Colin Bass', British bassist in the rock band 'Camel'.
  • 'Sara Blizzard', meteorologist (television weather presenter) for the BBC.
Usain Bolt Is Lightening Bolt Fast ... So Well Named

This phenomena is apparently called an aptronym, aptonym or euonym. Which as you might have guessed, is when a personal name, is aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner or their occupation. The Psychologist Carl Jung, in his book 'Synchronicity' wrote that there was a "sometimes quite grotesque coincidence between a man's name and his peculiarities".

Edinburgh In August

I had an email asking for information on staying in Edinburgh in August for the festival and the fringe. I passed on some information, but then decided that I may as well post up a personal guide for both August and other months:

Firstly there is in fact a BBC guide to doing Edinburgh on the cheap …… it contains a few snippets although is aimed at a slightly different audience. So now you’ve read that and you are still wanting more …..

Edinburgh Attracts Visitors From Around The World

Relax Don't Do It

Mr Keith Vaz the Labour MP has opposed this governments attempts to criminalise the party drug known as Poppers. Ministers later announced that following this opposition they would remain within the law. He was also overseeing the biggest shake-up of Britain’s prostitution laws in a generation, via the Home Affairs Select Committee of which he was Chairman.

Poppers - Popular In Some Communities

In the 'Gay' community Poppers are used to help relax key muscles such as the sphincter of the anus (which can make anal sex less painful). Poppers also cause blood vessels to dilate, which drops blood pressure and increases heart rate (amyl nitrite was originally used to treat angina and cyanide poisoning) as a result, users experience a flush feeling and increased sexual arousal .... so, popular in Gay bars.

Friday, 2 September 2016

Killer Korma

Talking of dumb ... a picnicker called the ambulance service via the 999 emergency number because .....

Bogus Emergency Calls - More Than Just A Nuisance ....

.... they had eaten an out-of-date sandwich. She had called because she wanted an ambulance to come and check them over for instant food poisoning ........... fining people like this a £1,000 (or 6 weeks in prison) would soon cure this particular problem.

Colour Blind

One of the interesting aspects of Henning Wehn's Edinburgh show was when he demonstrated that the British have been so cowed by Political Correctness (and its subculture race industry), that even the bleeding obvious, could not be pointed out ..... that indeed, just like the moral of the tale of  the 'Emperors New Clothes' ....
 
Stating The Obvious Is Sometimes Ignored ......

..... only a small child, or a reckless madman could state the plain and obvious truth.  

Midnight Express Still Running

Even in happier times for Turkey, the states legal system was dysfunctional and not up to European standards. One little example illustrates this very well.

Tough (in) Justice In Turkey .....

Volkan Kutlu and Okan Ciftci were aged 14 and 15 when they committed a petty crime. They stole two ice creams and some sunflower seeds ... a petty crime in most countries, especially as it wasn't for profit (they ate the products).

From Elechek To Al Bakistan Again

The President of Kyrgyzstan, Almazbek Atambayev has launched a campaign against the "Arabisation of society [and the] deprivation of the Kyrgyz nation of its language and traditions".

This campaign included posters like this one ..... which portrays women wearing the traditional nomadic clothing of Kyrgyzstan (the Elechek) on one side, while the other side shows women in niqabs and burkas .....

Poor people! Where are we heading to?!

..... and which tried to dissuade Kyrgyz women from wearing Islamic clothing, notably the hijab, niqab and burka's.

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A middle aged orange male ... So 'un' PC it's not true....