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Friday, 30 December 2016

Hockey Goons

In the UK ice hockey is at best a minor interest sport, and at worst it simply doesn't even feature in our sporting consciousness. Not so of course in other parts of Europe and especially in North America, where its both a major sport, and in the case of Canada the national sport.

The Hanson Brothers .... Ice Hockey Archetypes?

But for us, the heroes and villains of this sport are largely unknown .. maybe the name Wayne Gretzky rings a bell if you are old enough, or a sports nut .... but in fact the knowledge is so limited generally that we are more likely to recall fictional characters such as the bespectacled violent goons, the Hanson Brothers, from the movie Slap Shot, or perhaps Goon which featured another 'enforcer', Doug Glatt,

State Letter To Grandfather

In another sign of the times, some Russian websites have been offering letters to Grandfather Frost (the Russian Santa Claus), which also collected children's personal details. Russia's media regulator is actually investigating 76 such sites for data misuse offences.

Father Frost Gives Presents To All Good Little Boys .... Have You Been A Good Boy Vladimir?

However, in a bid not to look too mean spirited, its offered its own state sponsored version of the traditional letter to Grandfather Frost.

A Charitable Act

The end of the year brings a lot of New year Resolutions (which are usually broken by February, if not earlier). I am, and have been, no better than anyone else in this regard. Although I did give up smoking over a decade ago after a new year resolution .... but it took until the following May before I actually did it.

However there is one resolution which I am always able to keep, and which benefits others as well in a very seasonal way.

Early Salvation Army Food Wagon .....

I empty my food cupboards of every food can that is still in date, but that is going to expire before March the following year (the expired ones I either throw away or use quickly ... I am aware that expiry dates on food cans are really guidance only, as the contents can last for years or even decades in an edible state, if stored correctly, but Charities can't legally use them once the expiry date is reached).  

More Terror Than Tea Served In Turkey

A judge in Turkey recently remanded in custody a cook on a charge of insulting the President. The cook, who just happened to work at one of the few opposition newspaper left in the new Islamic state which is forming on the EU's southern borders, had offered mild dislike of the president. What did he do? Well apparently Senol Buran, the cafeteria head at newspaper 'Cumhuriyetis', is alleged to have told police "I would not serve that man [Erdogan] a cup of tea." after he was held up as part of security measures for a speech being given by Mr Erdogan.

Senol Buran - A Man In Deep Trouble

Friday, 23 December 2016

Happy Christmas and New Year 2016

As usual on this Blog I would like to wish all my readers a very Happy Christmas and New Year for 2016 / 2017 .... 

I Remember Getting This One ....

This was an annual I had in my Christmas Stocking that year, even though I was also getting more manly annuals as well by then  ..... Happy and innocent days which I miss. If only you knew then that they often were the happiest days of your life.

The Goat Is On Fire

In Sweden there is a tradition in the town of Gavle to set up a 'Gavlebocken' to celebrate the Christmas festivities. This, don't you know, is a giant metal framed straw goat ..... and very attractive it is too. However in recent years the local drunks and half-wits have taken to burning it down at some stage of the celebrations.

The Gavle Gavlebocken .....

Now as the town reportedly spends around 2.3m kronor (£200,000; $250,000) on constructing the goat and the subsequent festivities, this is not a cheap annual set back, and the town tries hard to stop these arsonists ... last year the goat actually survived until 27 December, so the town was determined to pass that date this year, but apparently to no avail.

Santa's Sidelnes

At this time of year we usually see a spate of 'Bad Santa' stories in the press, and indeed I have featured many of these in this Blog over the years. But this year has been remarkably free of 'Bad Santa's', and even the Elves have been pretty good .... this was the best (or worst) that I could find.


So I have had to raid the ghost box of Christmas Past, to find some suitable naughty list stories.

Bad Santa in Nashville bank ......

Perhaps the worst of these stories was when it was reported that Santa found his wage funds a little low, so he robbed a bank in Nashville Tennessee stating to the teller that ‘Santa needed to pay his elves.’ .... what is the world coming to? I always thought the Elves worked for free and the love of children's smiling faces. They obviously got unionised by red robbo the reindeer, and were demanding minimum wages from a non profit organisation.

Christmas Repasts

We Brits have our turkey Christmas dinners, and you would think that this is an ages old tradition, but of course we didn't have Turkeys until we started colonising the North American continent in the 16th and 17th centuries.

British Traditional Christmas Fare

So in medieval England, if you were wealthy enough to afford a special Christmas meal, it would likely to have been with wild boar (pig) as the meat centre piece. Later, in the 15th and 16th centuries this became goose or capon, and these were only slowly replaced as the most common meat by turkey.

Friday, 16 December 2016

Cupids Warriors

You sometimes hear stories about animals such as wild horses, or ducks frozen in mid flight across a lake, when a sudden freeze occurs ...... however you rarely see any evidence for these stories.

They Weren't Aware Off What They Had Found At First ....

But in Alaska a teacher in the remote village of Unalakleet, was out walking with a friend when they came across a scene that proved there is some truth in these tales 

No Beer Was Harmed

No Beer Was Harmed

A train run by Southeastern rail in the UK hit a beer barrel that had been thrown on the line by vandals in April 2016. Fortunately this caused no injuries and no real damage to the train but did cause a 90 minute delay while the incident was investigated. My sympathies are with those travellers as its like hell when a UK train closes a line .... but at least the the rail company showed some humour.

They issued a statement that 'no beer was harmed'.

No Beer Was Harmed .....

Bosnia's Walk Of Shame

They say that the smaller the country, the smaller the event that the President will attend. So for the US President, it may be the launching of an aircraft carrier, while for the President of Bosnia-Herzegovina it would be .... a pavement opening. Yes, A press release from the Bosnia-Herzegovina Presidency told journalists to arrive at 11:45am for security checks in time for their midday tour of the pavement.

Presidential Pavement Good for Dancers ...... And Journalists.

Not just any old pavement mind, oh no, this was the pavement right outside the the Presidency building, a section of which had been newly repaved.

All That Glitters Is Not Gold

Kuwait has 1.3m citizens, and it also lies over the sixth largest proven oil reserves in the world. That makes it wealthy.

Glittering Kuwait ....

It therefore gives (or bribes) those 1.3m citizens with lavish state benefits, such as interest-free housing loans, free education and healthcare, and food and fuel subsidies, and unemployment benefits .... this keeps them happy in this recently (post Iraqi invasion) constitutional emirate. It has a semi-democratic political system which is divided between an elected parliament and appointed government.

Friday, 9 December 2016

Harbouring A Grudge

Every one of us feels resentful about someone else at least once in our lives. And I dare-say that some of us have acted upon that resentment, and taken a 'sweet revenge' at a later date, when opportunity arose.

Never Pray For Doug .... Now That's A Christian Grudge For You.

Maybe this is just natural behaviour and even in some cases natural justice of sorts ..... however most of us would find it hard to still be of a vengeful state of mind after 56 years of waiting.

Robo Trump

Funniest take on the expected Trump Presidency so far by Uruguayan production house Aparato......


..... laughing at the outrageous consequences of Donald Trump´s plan of banning immigration and building an enormous wall on the Mexico - US border.

Nothing more needs to be said really .... funny!

Gut And Moaning

In the German University of Freiburg, thrifty students had taken to following the practise of "conveyor-belting" ... which is waiting for less thrifty students to put their finished plates on the washing conveyor belt, and then raiding those plates for any edible items they fancied.

Conveyor-Belting ....

This of course meant meals could be very cheap for those 'belters'.

Back To Africa - Almost

Larry Mitchell, is an African-American man from Kokomo, Indiana, who has been convicted of serious offences involving drugs and served prison time in the past ......  Now its fair to say that there are a number of Larry Mitchell's in Indiana who have been arrested in the last few years.... for instance the Mr Mitchell's record below, would seem to suggest that the Mr Mitchell whose details are listed would need to acquire money quickly, with all those bail bonds to finance.

Name: Larry Mitchell 
Charges:
#1 TRESPASS PROPERTY/AFTER WARNING;BOND: $1000;

#2 DRUG PARAPHERNALIA/POSSESSION W/INTENT TO USE;BOND: $1000;
#3 COCAINE/POSSESSION;BOND: $5000

Anyway, the Mr Mitchell from Kokomo, Indiana in the story blames his particular problems on there being "an underlying racism that is still here. Black men are watched and targeted by the police." .... not his drug dealings.

So he started a donation page on the 'GoFundMe' website for those people who want him to 'go back to Africa', to send him money to do so. His page was called '#putyourmoneywhereyourhateis.'

Larry Mitchell - Back To Africa (For A Free Holiday) ...

The BBC and many other media outfits loved it, and ran a story on it because its 'clearly ironic', but with little comment from them on the financial gain aspects of the page, nor the criminal past of Mr Mitchell.

Friday, 2 December 2016

King Of The Swimmers

In the Disney Jungle book animated movie, King Louie is the king of the swingers and a jungle VIP .....

The First King Louie .... King Of The Swingers

In Canada there are no Orang-utans, but there are lots of sea life, so when a giant lobster turned up in a fisherman's lobster pot, it caused quite a stir.

Out In A Blaze Of Glory

Do you remember the Cassini probe?

Cassini Probe .....

Its been orbiting Saturn and its moons for 12 years, but is now running low on fuel. So now its fate is sealed .... crash landing into Saturn. This is to prevent it crashing into the moons as there is a suspicion that at least two of them, Enceladus and Titan, may actually harbour bacterial life.

The Colour Of Money

Some left wing researchers and activists reckon we don't have enough Black, LBGT, Women, or anything else apart from White males in western cinema .... Hollywood, they say, should produce more films with height challenged actors, married gay couples, and men who are dressed as women (while they await that final nip and tuck ....), and still get more women into the leading roles.

Pam Grier As 'Foxy Brown' - The New Hollywood Type Of Heroine?

This is all no doubt very worthy, and must make the idiots who wrote the report feel really snuggly and PC'd up when they go to bed ..... but it misses the point of film making. Profit.

BBC Impartiality Often Questioned

Why does the BBC seem to take a certain side in every argument? It is after all supposed to be primarily a news and entertainment channel, with an emphasis on learning, and always on impartiality. It's foundation charter was most specific about this, and yet for at least the last 30 years or so, it has taken an ever more 'Pro Immigration (including illegals), Multi-culturalist, Politically Correct', leftie stance on nearly every public policy argument.

BBC Impartiality Often Questioned ... But Not So Often By The Left.

This view often fails to chime with the views of the very public its supposed to be serving its content to, but the BBC seems to care not a jot for this.

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A middle aged orange male ... So 'un' PC it's not true....