State Letter To Grandfather

In another sign of the times, some Russian websites have been offering letters to Grandfather Frost (the Russian Santa Claus), which also collected children's personal details. Russia's media regulator is actually investigating 76 such sites for data misuse offences.

Grandfather Frost Gives Presents To All Good Little Boys ....
 Have You Been A Good Boy Vladimir?

However, in a bid not to look too mean spirited, its offered its own state sponsored version of the traditional letter to Grandfather Frost.

Well done Big Fella!

A Christmas Tale ..... at the traditional time, the traditional story is usually a fairy tale .... not necessarily in New York though .... its a now proven fact that Santa Claus imbibes just a little too much sherry on his rounds.

As any follower of Health and Safety rules will know, drinking while in charge of reindeer, as well as climbing down chimneys and other hazardous Christmas tree approaches is a dangerous practise. So perhaps its not a surprise that over the years, good old Kris Kringle has had a few accidents .....

There was that incident with the wrestler Alberto Del Rio when he was hit by the wrestlers car ...

Drunk Santa

.... lucky not to get breathalysed on that one.

Then of course, there was the regrettable incident in the Florida shopping Mall ..... when His beard became tangled in the winching gear, and for a wrenchingly long time he wriggled furiously to free himself, losing his hat. To distract the crowd, an assistant below led them in a rousing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."

When Santa finally landed, he ripped off the tangled facial hair, told the children that he was actually an elf, and fled .

Santa Losing His Cool ... His Hat and His Beard

.... another moment to forget.

However, you have to give the old fella his due. He just dusts himself off, walks unsteadily back to the chimney or his sleigh and carries on .... not missing any Christian boys and girls out.

So spare a thought to the busiest man of next Wednesday .... he's hundreds of years old, packing a lot of timber, and fairly pissed .... but he gets the job done.

Well done Big Fella!

Rescuing Santa

When we introduced a Freedom of Information in the UK (a watered down version of the US model), who knew what it would throw up, well a list of the strangest request for information in 2011 has thrown up at least one request to Cheltenham Borough Council for them to explain:

• What preparations has the council made for an emergency landing of Santa's sleigh this Christmas? 
• Who would be responsible for rescuing Santa? 
• Who would be responsible for rounding up the reindeer, and 
• Who would have to tidy the crash site? 

With reports that in the US dozens of US congressmen have pledged to protect Christmas from attempts to undermine it, especially the the nativity scenes, maybe this isn't as daft a question as it may seem.

Cheltenham Borough Council - Plans To Rescue Santa

Some of the other strange items the councils were asked about are:

• How does the council plan to help the brave soldiers of our infantry if and when Napoleon and his marauding hordes invade the district? (West Devon District Council)
• What plans are in place to deal with an alien invasion? (Merseyside Fire & Rescue Service)
• How many drawing pins are in the building and what percentage are currently stuck in a pin board? (Hampshire County Council)
• How many *holes in privacy walls between toilet cubicles have been found in public lavatories and council buildings? (Cornwall Council) *aka 'Glory Holes' in Gay Communities.

 

Its a funny old world, with some no longer able to tell the difference between fact and fiction ....

 Happy Christmas Everyone!