Friday, 25 July 2014

Dumb, Dumber And Dumbest

Bonita Springs, Florida may have seen the stupidest thieves of all time, and that's going some. The three thieves decided that the way not to get caught was adopt a disguise that may never have been used before?

On Sunday 20th July 2014, they broke into Doc's Beach House in Bonita Beach, Southwest Florida USA where they took ....just 60 hamburgers (no cash kept on premises after a real theft some years earlier). They then made their getaway, leaving only a trail of red peppers on the beach. Who knows, that might have been all there was to it .... a broken door, 60 missing hamburgers, and trail of red peppers on a beach.

However this crime raised itself to a new level of ridiculousness because:

  1. Firstly, the cameras were on, and they wore no masks, and 
  2. Secondly, they also wore nothing else .... well two had not a stitch one, and the other had just his skid marks (underwear).

Dumb, Dumber And Dumbest

The waitress who saw the security film, branded them as "dumb, dumber and dumbest," and as it was shown on 'Wink News' TV, who can argue with that?

Aping The Capeman

In July 2014, reports from Moscow Russia stated  that in a Moscow bank, a man walked in dressed as Batman, the caped crusader, and after walking up to the counter, he then tried to rob the bank by demanding the staff give him money. But as Robin might have said, 'Holy Laughter Batman' ... the staff just started laughing at him. The more he demanded, the more they laughed, and despite a couple of half hearted attempts to give him some money, they just kept stitching up in fresh gales of laughter.

After a few minutes of this, the caped robber gave up, and beat a hasty retreat on to the mean Moscow streets ..... police are still hunting for the Bat Cave, where he's believed to be holed up, nursing his bruised pride.

Now this story tweaked a memory, and sure enough, this was not the first burgling Batman I had come across .... in June 2013, at the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo, there was a robbery of the Fair's VIP building early on a Thursday morning, by three teens, where one of the youths was dressed up in a Batman onesie.

As usual with these stories, the idiots in the suit, did not match the heroes they were aping ... the trio of thieves took televisions, a laptop and an empty cash register .... and then to cap a dumb evening, the suspects managed to lock themselves in the building, and had to 'break out'.
 
Batman Later Wished He Had Kept The Mask On

The local paper, the Pueblo Chieftain, reported that the 'Batman' youth, had also neglected to wear the mask inside the building, where security cameras caught his likeness, and KRDO-TV, the local TV company had broadcast the robbery film on the news that evening.

How The Story Was Reported In Pueblo Colorado

Batman (who wasn't named because of his age), gave himself up to the police, and faced charges including burglary and criminal mischief .... but Batman isn't a stoolie, and police were still seeking the other two suspects.

Hands That Do Washing

There is a strange kind of regime resistance going on in Iran - while the manual working class, and the badly educated, welcomed and still mostly support the regime of the Mullahs (a similar phenomena occurs in Turkey with the ruling political party), the upper class and educated middle-classes never really took to the rule of the mosque with quite so much enthusiasm.

Recently, these educated under 30's - the children of those parents so cowed by the violence of the new regime when the Shah fell - have increasingly shown sparks of resentment. There were all those 'liberal' green marches of a couple of years ago, that were crushed with considerable force, but since then, there have been flickers of the embers, that suggest that the regime may not last forever.

The prompter of this is largely social media, Facebook, Twitter et al, something that not everyone, including me, fully realises has very great power amongst in the under 35's, and in the third world in particular. It allows comments, events, art or films to 'go viral' and create great tension in repressive regimes. There have been a string of these rather innocuous looking 'viral' trends in Iran recently .... the 'be happy video', the 'bared head' videos, and the 'washing-up liquid bottle' are merely the three latest in the list.

The 'washing-up liquid bottle' picture, is merely a woman holding a world cup type bottle of aloft with soapy bare arms .... it was painted on a wall in June 2014 by 'Black Hand' who or are sometimes referred to as "Iran's 'Banksy'" (they may be a collective group, or one individual, no one knows). The image has since been captured and shared thousands of times on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram .... and although its been defaced (again by person or persons unknown), it now lives in the virtual world, where it continues to circulate and resonate amongst Iran's younger educated classes.

Chained To Kitchen Sink - Iranian Style

The painted wall art seemed to show that in theocratic Iran, women are are only fit to do household chores ... chained to the kitchen sink so to speak, but aspire to so much more.

The reason this particular image has struck a chord with many Iranians, appears to be because the authorities have extended the already harsh bans on women attending football matches, to include volleyball games, of which there is a World League competing in Iran, but in point of fact, women can't attend any sports events competed for by male athletes (or where men are in the crowd, unless segregated). As the football World Cup in Brazil included the Iranian team, and which women could watch on TV (along with their friends or families), it merely emphasised how "very cruel, it's unbelievably cruel" as one woman put it, these bans are.

Harsh regimes like that in Iran, really don't know how to challenge this kind of 'subversion' ... I mean what does it mean? Why is it illegal? If they ban social media, it makes them look even more repressive than they already are (a feat in itself), and in any case is largely futile in a globalised world, where such bans can be bypassed. But futile or not, these regimes do not seem to moderate with time, and so each petty restriction just ratchets up the social pressure cookers, that always seem to lie just beneath the surface in these societies.

Who knows what the trigger event may be that starts the next upheaval in the region - in one country, a man setting himself on fire was enough to kick off violent attempted regime changes, and then later counter attacks by the regimes (notably Egypt and Syria), across North Africa and into the Middle East .... is Iran so secure?

One Justice or No Justice

Regional News 23rd July:

A five-year-old boy has been left with a broken leg after a hit-and-run in Blackburn.
Lancashire Police said the boy was hit in Whitwell Place at 20:00 BST on Wednesday. He was kept in the Royal Blackburn Hospital overnight. The driver is described as an "Asian woman wearing a burkha", who was in a silver car. Police from the road policing unit, appealed for witnesses and the driver to come forward.


OK where do I start with this story ....

  • What could a a new witness describe ... an "Asian woman wearing a burkha"? They already got that, so only a number plate would help.
  • How could an identification parade work? All women in a burkha look identical ... not even their children know by sight. (Its one of the spurious reasons that some Saudi's put forward against women driving in that country ... can't ID the driver. )
  • For less serious offences - no one would ever be able to identify the driver of a car from police cameras etc, even if the number plates were seen. You can only detain on reasonable suspicion, but not prosecute.

As an example of this last point, I recently saw a UK police 'reality' show from the Midlands, where 3 Asian youths had been caught speeding around an estate in a car with no documents etc, but all denied being the driver. One of them had the car keys in his pocket which the police confiscated ... he said he had been looking after them 'for the driver' who had 'run off' when the police caught the car.

The police were made to look stupid by three 17 yr olds, who even got cocky without being arrested ... one of them telling the police officer that 'you look like your educated, yeah?', because despite the obvious lying, the Crown Prosecution Service are too inept to be able to prosecute this sort of case (the solution is to prosecute them all, like they do in gang murders). Insult was added to injury, when as the police impounded the car to be crushed (there being 'no owner' ... and it wasn't insured or taxed), the man who had been 'looking after the keys' demanded that they give him back his house keys, which had somehow attached themselves to the 'drivers' car keys, in the few seconds that the police took to stop them (and in which Einsteinian time, the driver had also managed to 'run off' unseen be anyone).

One Justice or No Justice?

While we continue to pussyfoot around Asians and other groups like this (because they may be offended by anything we do, or even by our laws), and don't apply laws equally to them, as well as the rest of us, then the anger amongst those of us who are not allowed to get away with this nonsense, just grows.

We either have the same laws for all, applied equally for all, or no laws, and let us sort out issues by the mob - something many immigrant groups would find to be 'just like justice back home'.            

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A middle aged orange male ... So 'un' PC it's not true....