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Friday 1 January 2010

Last Years Hangover!

With the start of yet another New Year I am not really in a blogging mood ....... we are in for tough times in the UK, and I find the politicians in the West singularly uninspiring and incapable.

So instead of a post on the troubles ahead, lets instead try and cure a trouble from last year. I mean of course the New Year Party hangover from last night!

Historically man has always tried to better the beast of alcohol, with varying degrees of success.

The Ancient Assyrians

Whenever they had sacked a city and felt the painful after effects of excess beer, they consumed a mixture of ground birds' beaks and myrrh ..... with the price of Myrrh, this must have been only for the king.

In Ancient China

Eating a small amount of horse brain the morning after a night of overindulgence was thought to be good for what ails you. I suspect this is sympathetic magic because Chinese Beer tastes like horse piss.

Ancient Egypt

The Ancient Egyptians swore by a drink made of cabbage water, which they passed on through the centuries to the Russians, who favour a cure of the "salted brine from pickled cucumbers or tomatoes". But they also sell Cabbage Rassol, which are cans of salted, carbonated cabbage juice. Ivan Strizhakov, deputy director of the Ochakovo brewery, said:"We would quench the thirst of the world if we had fresh cabbage all year round." ...... not round here matey!

In Ancient Greece

The drinkers of ancient Greece ("Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle") thought that sheep lungs and two owl eggs were sure to beat the vino hangover. Catching Owls and making them lay two eggs seems a problem with this cure though .....

When In Rome

In ancient Rome a couple of deep-fried canaries were considered a good bet to get rid of a hangover (with or without secret herbs and spices), or maybe the alternative of eel steeped in wine (a hair of the dog?), but considering that they watered down their wine, a really good piss may have been enough.

In The Middle Ages

In the Middle Ages a mixture of bitter almonds and dried eel, was thought to be a certain cure all for mead over indulgence. Its a little known fact that most people drank beer instead of water from the Middle ages until the First World War because fresh water was so polluted in towns and cities. Peasants also had every holy day off (from which we get our word holiday) so this could work out that they had approximately eight weeks off a year for leisure time because of Sundays and 'holy days'...... so a lot of eels were eaten!

A Mongolian Cure

To this day Mongolian bons viveurs say that a pair of pickled sheep's eyes in tomato juice is the hangover beater that hits the spot. However this may be reserved for gullible western journalists and politicians.

The Wild West

Rabbit-Shit Tea, a concoction brewed by those lonesome cowpokes of the Wild West. With the breath this must have given them, no wonder they were lonesome.

Victorians

In the 19th century chimney sweeps drank warm milk with a teaspoon of soot....... well throwing up does clear your head.

Ginger Ale

Ginger has been a cure for stomach ailments for centuries.

So why not give Ginger Ale a try to help your your stomach feel better, and when you consider the alternatives listed above, this seems a nicer way to start the New Year without a banging head!

2 comments:

  1. IRN BRU made from girders, has to be drunk straight from a glass bottle and made with west of scotland water. Works every time. Of course this may just be a tale put around at this time of year by Barrs. But who cares!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahh, how interesting that there is a Scottish 'cure' that doesn't involve deep frying (ala Romans) ..... especially when millions thought that the Scots cure was to not stop drinking! LOL

    Seasons greetings mate.

    ReplyDelete

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