Friday, 12 July 2013

Cheesy Stinkers

What’s in a cheese? .... well according to the US food and drug administration, not always cheese. The specialist Mimolette cheese of France, is classified as nothing much more than, and I quote, "it appears to consist in whole or in part of a filthy, putrid or decomposed substance or be otherwise unfit for food".

Mimolette Is A Stinky French Cheese According To USFDA

Mimolette is a cheese traditionally produced around the city of Lille, France, where its also known as 'Boule de Lille'.... its similar to Edam, but coloured orange (Louis XIV had it created to stop the French importing Dutch Edam). The cheese can be served at several stages of its life, where it has different characteristics. When very old Vieille (or extra-vieille), then the greyish crust of the aged Mimolette is as direct result of 'cheese mites' intentionally introduced to add flavour by their action on the surface of the cheese. Its this process that seems to have angered the US authorities.

Cheese Mites - Not Just Mexicans Stopped At US Borders.

So harsh words, but as well as being technically true for these particular versions of the cheese, strangely reminiscent of the term used to describe the French, "Cheese-eating surrender monkeys" by Springfield High janitor, 'Grounds keeper Willie' in 'The Simpsons'. There is a similar reference in the Family Guy episode 'Jerome Is the New Black', which had several songs with racially offensive lyrics, performed by the "Rat Pack" singing on a 60's TV show - one of the songs was "Pew, Stinky Frenchman".

The French response has been robust "This is absurd, changing the production process would change the flavour. No one has ever got ill from eating our cheese." .... and in fact 1.5 tonnes of this product were exported to the US before the ban, so someone must have liked it  .... but the French junior minister for food seems to have accepted that the ban will stay in force, and that Mimolette makers would have no choice but to comply if they wanted to export to the US.

"Our only concern is to work with French cheese-makers towards a new production process for aged Mimolette destined for export" ... Little bit of worked need there me thinks.

Oh, and if your interested .... here's the lyrics to the TV show parodied on Family Guy.

Announcer: From Time-Life Music comes a one-of-a-kind Rat Pack Collection. Their Most Bigoted Songs. All your favourite once acceptable hits like:
"Drunk Old Injun":

Frank: ♪♪ The drunk, old Injun ♪♪

♪♪ Squatting in his teepee ♪♪

♪♪ Firewater keeping him warm ♪♪

Announcer: "Jewish Nose"

Frank: ♪♪ She's got a big beautiful Jewish nose ♪♪

♪♪ And its there two minutes early ♪♪

♪♪ Wherever she goes ♪♪

Announcer: Dean Martin singing: "Chinaman's Chance"

Dean Martin ♪♪ And Mr. Chinaman say ♪♪

♪♪ In his Chinaman way ♪♪

♪♪ A ding-a-ling a ching-a-chong a chinga-chong-chu ♪♪

Announcer: "Pew, Stinky Frenchman"

Frank: ♪♪ Paris is lovely ♪♪

♪♪ And Nice sure is nice ♪♪

♪♪ And Marseille is charming with champagne on ice ♪♪

♪♪ But you, stinky Frenchman ♪♪

♪♪ Haven't a clue ♪♪

♪♪ Pew, stinky Frenchman ♪♪

♪♪ Frog You ♪♪

Announcer: "Hey There, Fruity"

Group: ♪♪ Hey there, Fruity ♪♪

Frank: ♪♪ You can do my hair ♪♪

Group: ♪♪ Hey there, Fruity ♪♪

Sammy: ♪♪ Don't touch me down there ♪♪

Group: ♪♪ Hey there, Fruity ♪♪

Dean: ♪♪ You're gay and I don't approve... ♪♪

Announcer: "And Many More..."


  1. I heard once that potatoes wouldn't be permitted in the UK if they were to pass modern importation standards. I think that the USFDA need a better reason to ban something other than 'it's disgusting' otherwise, amongst other things, it could be seen as a protectionist move.

    If you look close enough I expect most food harbours some-or-other micro-infestation. Cheese may be the "worst", so what? In a few years we'll all be eating insects anyway.

    1. Lots of protein in a Locust ..... and I would ban Macaroni cheese as disgusting if it was up to me :-)

    2. What do you have against Macaroni cheese? Lovely stuff, praise be on His Noodly Appendages.

    3. Even the smell of Macaroni cheese can make a stomach churn. I agree with the poster, it should be banned.

    4. There you are Vroomfondel, anonymous backing for my position on the 'Macaroni cheese' question. Actually its the taste that does it for me, but I do also not like the smell.


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