Friday, 7 August 2015

Bang Er and Mash (or Spuds U Like)

You sometimes hear tales of wheat or other organic matter, germinating in strange parts of peoples bodies (although these stories are best treated with some scepticism), and its a fact that human beings are very 'inventive' in how they use fruit and vegetables. But occasionally you have to blink and ask are you having a larf?

On October 4th, 2014 it was reported that a 22 year old 'virgin' was rushed to hospital in Honda, Columbia, South America. She was complaining of violent abdominal pains, and at first the medics could find nothing abnormal, but when her symptoms persisted, a medic decided to root around, and discovered a mouldy vegetable inside her vaginal passage. It had apparently 'germinated' and sprouted roots .... it was these, and the consequent gas build up, that that were causing her pains.

The medics extracted the object without the need for surgery, and almost immediately the pains started to subside .... when asked what the potato (for such it was identified as), was doing there, she replied that her mother had told her that a potato located there would stop her getting pregnant.

Strange Contraceptive ... or Nasty Surprise?

Now whatever the efficacy of such a contraceptive remedy, you would have thought that her mother would have mentioned that such a practice required that the potato be removed after sex (and possible washed as well if it was going back into the potato sack), but no she didn't.

Needless to say the girl concerned (who thankfully was never named), is possibly not playing with a full deck of cards, because it never crossed her mind either ..... it was inside her for a full two weeks before its medical removal. A period long enough to allow any spud to show signs of growth, so two weeks in a wet warm dark environment, was enough to trigger germination to commence.

She is expecting no complications following this strange event, but when asked if she didn't think this was strange advice from her mother, she said that "I believed her".


  1. The phrase "one in the oven" has always made me think of baked potatoes, just after it's intended meaning. As having one in the oven is a sure way of avoiding getting pregnant (again), perhaps her mother thought that a potato would have the same effect? In any case nullius inverba; one should never believe anything on face value.

    1. There are a lot of strange notions floating about on many subjects ... and if a girl can't trust her mother, who can she trust?

  2. Does anyone remember the myth about polo mints making you sterile? Even now I don't understand why that was ever believed.

    1. That story was doing the rounds 50 years ago and is still an urban myth amongst the school kids.

      There are still many websites where that story is being repeated or asked by posters .... very odd.

      Thanks for that, I hadn't thought of it since I left school!


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