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Friday, 14 August 2015

Pong Pants

Apparently 'Shreddies' (not the breakfast cereal), but a specialist clothing firm in Leicester (for my American visitors, its pronounced 'lester' not 'lay cess stir'), has decide to add to its growing range of anti-flatulence clothing ..... I know, the mind boggles that such a range of clothing was even devised, but they have.

They apparently already have a line of flatulence filtering, mens underpants and ladies knickers in production, after their successful launch in 2012.

These Are An Earlier Fart Underpants Design ....

Now they are launching a range of fart neutralising Jeans ... the designer Jeans (for such I guess they are, although Gloria Vanderbilt might not be designing the cut for these particular Jeans), contain the same technology as chemical warfare suits (well that figures, judging by the evil gasses that at least one man in my local pub chooses to share with us all, in *SBD attacks) .... in this case, its held in some porous cloth back panels, which absorb, then trap and neutralise the deadly odours.

This Is How They Advertise The New Range ....

How long do they last? .... I don't hear you cry.

Well apparently almost indefinitely, as the thin, flexible absorbing cloth is reactivated by washing, and so doesn't need to ever be replaced inside the normal life time of a pair of Jeans (whatever a normal lifetime is).

However there is a serious side to this story, which is that the clothing is aimed at people with extreme digestive disorders, as well as those who are just simply anti-social gits.

*SBD = Silent But Deadly ... the perpetrator is known locally as 'Carter the Farter' behind his back (which come to think of it isn't a clever place to whisper) although that's not his actual name.

4 comments:

  1. Have you seen 'Wireless Armour' underpants? Radiation shielded against mobile phones in your front pockets. Keep your sperm count up and your 3 eyed children to a minimum. £24 of Richard Branson sponsored 'underpants for super heroes'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Probably should have sold them to 'the 'Kissin Cousins' in Eastern Kentucky. Thanks for the information I would have included a mention had I been aware of them. Great pseudonym as well 'iron balls'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chastity belts were also a form of protection

      Delete
    2. Good one Al. They would have been more uncomfortable though. Thanks for the comment.

      Delete

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