In the centre of Kabul many shop-fronts are decorated for Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, and its obviously not a Muslim festival.
This has caused problems in Muslim countries as we have seen in the past.
But in war torn Kabul, Valentine's Day is one of the few occasions when young people in Kabul can pretend that love is around and worthy of celebration. No doubt the local Mullahs detest it, but of course Islam has no feast or festival for love. So for Muslim men, who are never good at talking about it (because with arranged marriages, they rarely have to win a woman's heart), and for Muslim, women who simply aren't allowed to express it (and never, ever to anyone except their husbands), its maybe the only time they can express the emotion publicly.
If the women stray from this strict path, then very bad things can happen. An Afghan woman who fell in love ... and I mean just fell in love, not anything sexual etc and her mother found out, found herself attacked by her brothers on the orders of her mother who told them to 'get rid of her'. Every time they came to kill her, she would run to the room and grab a copy of the Koran. She then said she would beg for their forgiveness, and for them to let her live for the sake of the Koran. But when the rest of the family found out, all her male cousins (you don't marry anyone else), refused to ask for her hand in marriage. She was considered tainted, and too unclean for their sons.
This is a common reaction, and other girls refuse to talk to girls who ever admit to loving someone. They are still looked down on, even when they married the person they love ... they are considered shameful simply for having been in love before marriage. Some pay the ultimate price, even when they marry for love. They are killed for disgracing their families.
For Afghan men, its different, they boast about having girlfriends and lovers (although 99 per cent of this must be bullshit, because where are these girlfriends?) .... but there are always a few brave female souls who risk all for love.
For those women, rejection by their object of love can lead to social disaster .... About 3,000 Afghans attempt to take their own lives every year, the vast majority are women. The actual rates are likely to be higher as many people in Afghanistan do not report suicide to authorities.
These figures run contrary to global suicide figures, where there are more male suicides than female suicides - but in Afghanistan it is estimated that 80% of suicide attempts are made by women. The reasons for this could range from mental health problems and domestic violence, to forced marriages and many other social pressures. But based on the estimates of the United Nations Population Fund, 87% of Afghan women have been victims of at least one form of physical, sexual or psychological violence, and 62% have experienced multiple forms of abuse ...
..... so its not hard to see why so many of the women of Afghanistan prefer death over life.
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| Celebrating Love, Afghan Style .... |
This has caused problems in Muslim countries as we have seen in the past.
But in war torn Kabul, Valentine's Day is one of the few occasions when young people in Kabul can pretend that love is around and worthy of celebration. No doubt the local Mullahs detest it, but of course Islam has no feast or festival for love. So for Muslim men, who are never good at talking about it (because with arranged marriages, they rarely have to win a woman's heart), and for Muslim, women who simply aren't allowed to express it (and never, ever to anyone except their husbands), its maybe the only time they can express the emotion publicly.
If the women stray from this strict path, then very bad things can happen. An Afghan woman who fell in love ... and I mean just fell in love, not anything sexual etc and her mother found out, found herself attacked by her brothers on the orders of her mother who told them to 'get rid of her'. Every time they came to kill her, she would run to the room and grab a copy of the Koran. She then said she would beg for their forgiveness, and for them to let her live for the sake of the Koran. But when the rest of the family found out, all her male cousins (you don't marry anyone else), refused to ask for her hand in marriage. She was considered tainted, and too unclean for their sons.
This is a common reaction, and other girls refuse to talk to girls who ever admit to loving someone. They are still looked down on, even when they married the person they love ... they are considered shameful simply for having been in love before marriage. Some pay the ultimate price, even when they marry for love. They are killed for disgracing their families.
For Afghan men, its different, they boast about having girlfriends and lovers (although 99 per cent of this must be bullshit, because where are these girlfriends?) .... but there are always a few brave female souls who risk all for love.
 |
| Kabul Flower Sellers Celebrate St Valentines ... |
For those women, rejection by their object of love can lead to social disaster .... About 3,000 Afghans attempt to take their own lives every year, the vast majority are women. The actual rates are likely to be higher as many people in Afghanistan do not report suicide to authorities.
These figures run contrary to global suicide figures, where there are more male suicides than female suicides - but in Afghanistan it is estimated that 80% of suicide attempts are made by women. The reasons for this could range from mental health problems and domestic violence, to forced marriages and many other social pressures. But based on the estimates of the United Nations Population Fund, 87% of Afghan women have been victims of at least one form of physical, sexual or psychological violence, and 62% have experienced multiple forms of abuse ...
..... so its not hard to see why so many of the women of Afghanistan prefer death over life.
What a depressing story. Laughably some western media such as the BBC try and pretend that arranged marriages lead to love. That muslim woman who won a baking contest is promoted as a champion of arranged marriage love.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like they are softening up western women to their coming fate as chattels again.
Being given to a first cousin as a free bride or is that ride is not love. It's parental pimping and as your story points out is often the gateway to a hellish life for the women.
We are too soft on this on the west because the girls are brown and not white.
Strangely, there is a lot of poetry about love in Persian, Afghani and south Asian literature. I say strangely, because if it was the poets own sisters or daughters who were in the stories, they would react very badly. Thanks for the comment.
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