Life In The Lap Of The Gods

I was sent a spam 'joke' email entitled 'The Doctors Advice' the other day ....

 

25 Years Of Emails Has Changed Our Views ....

.... you know the type "27 T-Shirts that you'll split your side laughing at" .... NOT!!

 

I detest these things, which thankfully you don't seem to see as often these days, mainly as they are largely distinctly not funny ... perhaps they have been eclipsed for humour by phishing emails, which can be very funny (if your not caught out by them).

 

Early Chain Mail Letter Written By Jesus!! Giving
Protection To Those Who Sent Them To Others

 

Oddly the receipt of this particular email reminded me somewhat of the old email chain letters, where you had to add your name to bring luck by passing it on to everyone you knew, or face bad luck yourself ... we were so easily impressed in the early days of the Internet!

 

Normally these spam mails (even forwarded by friends), go straight into my spam box (especially if full of attachments), but somehow this one passed my emails rules, and so I read it.

It was, like most of them full of inaccuracies and downright fabrications (I can never understand why the originators don't spend 10 minutes ensuring any claims are factually correct), but it did have a sort of truth to its conclusion .... therefore, after correcting all the inaccuracies I decided it was worth a posting. So here it is:

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, BUT rather the aim should be to skid in to the grave sideways - Beer in one hand - a woman in the other - your body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!

So eat and drink whatever you like (with a little moderation - its no life being 600lbs), because you will still end up in the same destination. Don't allow naggers and body shaming motivational speakers to deceive you into thinking that only self restraint will do .... no one really cares how you look in the wooden overcoat or how you got there. 

 

For example many a fitness guru has arrived at the final destination somewhat earlier than they would have their followers believe:

1. James Fuller Fixx popularizer of the running/jogging trend in USA, died at the age of 54.

2. Large numbers of body building champions die well before the age of 50.

3. One of the best footballers in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60. Its not uncommon for association footballers to die of heart attacks whilst still playing the game ....

BUT on the other hand

4. Harland David Sanders the Kentucky Fried Chicken inventor died at the ripe old age of 90.
5. Michele Ferrero the main inventor of the Nutella spread brand died at the age of 89.
6. The cigarette maker RJ Reynolds (Winston cigarettes) died at the age of 68, but only of pancreatic cancer.
8. Richard Hennessy inventor of the cognac of that name dies at age 76.
 
So how did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life? Well actually it generally does, but it doesn't guarantee it .... take for example the very active rabbit. It is always running, and hopping up and down, but it lives for only 12 years (as a pet - less in the wild. As is in fact the case with most animals), while the tortoise, that takes life at a more sedate pace, lives around 100 years or more.

So, whether you watch your diet, cut out all the 'bad stuff', and exercise like a madman, OR simply chill, eat and drink as much as you want (in moderation), and enjoy your lazy life, you will still die at sometime for sure. But when that time is, is always going to be in the lap of the gods.

 

Anon.