"Ingerlund" Jokes!

One thing about the English football fan is that they can generally laugh at their own teams failures (a trait that many other races and cultures find impossible to emulate .... they should try it). So the continued failure of England's (or 'Ingerlund' as its chanted) football team to win anything has been the cause of much joking and jokes (possibly added to by Scots and Welsh fans), and I have listed some of them below:

• Some good news: In training David James had 400 shots fired at him and didn't conceded a single goal, then he and Emile Heskey trained with the rest of the squad......
• In honour of England's displays in the World Cup, we're unveiling a new national flag. It's the same design as before but without the red cross.
• Police have released the name of the angry bloke who stormed into the England dressing room and subjected Fabio Capello and the players to a stream of foul-mouthed abuse. It's Wayne Rooney.
• Fabio Capello told Wayne Rooney to have a long look at himself in the mirror. Like that's going to improve his confidence.
• Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Goalie Robert Green was guarding the door.
• What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining. 
• Six hours of football and goalie Robert Green is still England's joint top scorer.
• What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.
• What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee. 

I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together! 

What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. 

A man goes into a brothel and says to the Madam "How much for total humiliation?" She says "£39.50" He asks "What do I get for that?" She replies "An England shirt".

What's the difference between Cinderella and the England football team? Cinderella wanted to get to the ball....

Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said the England Team performance on Sunday was completely rubbish. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

Robert Green - The only man to leave Africa with out catching anything.

In a statement from BBC Broadcasting House, all future England games will now be shown on the gay porn channel. It is thought that 11 ass-holes being regularly shafted is too explicit for regular TV.

I can't believe we only managed a nil nil draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten......I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.

The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "Its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.

Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn't break into the dressing room after all, but was let in by goalie Rob Green.

What's the difference between Robert Green's spill and BP's spill? ... Robert Green has got a cap for his.

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out..."

The FA have launched an inquiry to find out how a fan found his way into the dressing room, and another enquiry into how Wayne Rooney found his way into the dressing room.