"Yesterday, the so called 'webbed wonder' (although we prefer masked menace ..... have you seen the damage his fights cause to our fine city?) was finally brought to justice this week in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
He was apparently stocking up on spider venom when he was caught with at least 1,000 live spiders in his luggage, and faces up to a year in prison and a maximum fine of £1.4m ($2.3m). We trust that this will finally bring an end to his reign of mayhem in New York city. Byline: Jonah Jameson Daily Bugle New York"
Or so the story should have read in a more marvelous world.
For the real more mundane story, go here.
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