Friday, 11 April 2014

Times Up

Now I guess you can either take it as proof, that either your god loves you and wants you so much that he's taking you to heaven at the first possible chance, or that your god doesn't love you, and is punishing you, but either way, when you get swept out to sea during a baptism, something has gone horribly wrong.

The unlucky individual in this case was Benito Flores, who in March 2014 was helping his cousin, the pastor of the 'Jesus Christ Light of the Sky church', baptise a man near the Guadalupe Dunes Preserve north of Santa Barbara .... when a huge wave swept three of the party, including Mr Flores, out to sea. The other two swam back, but sadly not Mr Flores, who is presumed to be very likely drowned. It was deemed very unlikely that anyone could survive more than 30 minutes in the cold waters at this time of year.

So it seems that Mr Flores has gone to meet his maker, whether that's a good or bad thing, even if you don't believe in a maker, is for you to decide, but its still definitely an incredibly unlucky and ironic way to die. Of course there are many other strange ways to go, like the two women, who fell to their deaths as a bouncy inflatable castle careered across a park, before smashing into a CCTV post. There are probably millions of other strange ways to shuttle off this mortal coil ....

Strange Deaths Are Quite Common

In the current century alone, these are but a fraction of the strange deaths that have occurred:

  • 2006: An unidentified airline mechanic was sucked into the engine of a Boeing 737-500 at El Paso International Airport while performing routine maintenance on the tarmac.
  • 2007: Jennifer Strange, a 28-year-old woman from Sacramento, California, died of water intoxication while trying to win a Nintendo Wii console in a KDND 107.9 "The End" radio station's "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest, which involved drinking increasingly large quantities of water without urinating.
  • 2007: Humberto Hernandez, a 24-year-old Oakland, California resident, was killed after being struck in the face by an airborne fire hydrant while walking. A passing car had struck the fire hydrant and the water pressure shot the hydrant at Hernandez with enough force to kill him.
  • 2008: David Phyall, 50, the last resident in a block of flats due to be demolished in Bishopstoke, near Southampton, Hampshire, England, decapitated himself with a chainsaw to highlight the injustice of being forced to move out.
  • 2009: Taylor Mitchell, a Canadian folk singer, was attacked and killed by three coyotes, the only recorded adult person to have been killed by this species.
  • 2010: Mike Edwards, British founding member and cellist for the band ELO, died when a large round bale of hay rolled down the hill and smashed his car while he was out driving.
  • 2011: Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, died after being stabbed in the leg at an illegal cockfight in Tulare County, California U.S., by one of the birds that had a knife attached to its limb.
  • 2012: Erica Marshall, a 28-year-old British veterinarian in Ocala, Florida, died when the horse she was treating in a hyperbaric chamber kicked the wall, released a spark from its horseshoes and triggered an explosion.
  • 2012: Edward Archbold, 32, a man of West Palm Beach, Florida, died after winning a cockroach eating contest. The cause of death was determined to be accidental choking due to "arthropod body parts."
  • 2013: An unnamed Belarusian fisherman, 60, was killed by a beaver while attempting to take a picture with the animal. The beaver bit the man, severing a large artery in his leg.

Then there were those who thought they were amongst the blessed of whatever religion they followed:

  • Take the Catholic missionary in Nicaragua, Brother Pepe, who had survived being kidnapped by terrorists, and even being blown up by a landmine, but suddenly his time came. He sprayed insecticide on a beehive .... Oops .... he was totally unaware that it was full of African killer bees who promptly stung him to death in March 2014.  

And finally, those who brought it on themselves .....

  • Zheng Guoqiang, a Chinese Feng Shui master was taking a client around a cemetery where they were seeking some 'good land' for the clients husbands funeral plot. He had just pointed out a spot, which he had declared as 'perfect for the burial' and how the vibrations were perfect ... never a truer word spoken. Minutes later there as a tremendous mudslide and the Feng Shui master was buried alive, along with seven others. All were killed .... in a postscript, his friend Mr Lee Chengze, another meta-physician, said he was 'puzzled' as to why his friend had gone to that cemetery on that particular Sunday as it 'was a bad day' to go there. Meta-physician heal thyself.

All of which just goes to show that when its your time to go, its your time, and nothings going to stop it happening.....


  1. That is indeed an ironic way to go, during a baptism. A very interesting list which goes to show that the sun shines on the rich and poor and the believers and non-believers alike. I particularly like the Feng Shui story; there's a little bit of justice in the fact that the adviser reaped the fruit of his advice and not just his clients.

    1. Hi Vroomfondel,

      Glad you liked it ..... here's one more tale that you may find poetic .....

      Gangster Antonio Saenz accidentally (well we hope it was accidentally), shot off one of his own testicles while attempting to pull a pistol out of his trousers waistband to demand protection money in El Whoso, Spain.

      Not a death (well not reported as such, though he may have wished it had been), but has a sort of justice to it all the same.

    2. Blowing your own bollocks off while threatening your victims is really poetic justice. I wouldn't have rushed to call an ambulance either.

      However, being called 'Tony One Ball' while in prison will be additional punishment.

    3. Got to say I thought it was funny as well. Thanks for the comment.

    4. Yes, it's always nice to hear about someone hoisted by his own petard ! The more ironic (and painful) the better.


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