Friday, 28 July 2017

Beeping Madness

The soundtrack of the NHS is beeps. Every machine has its own little bleep, plop, or alarm to indicate that a drug is not being pumped in, or that something is not being sucked out of a hole or orifice.

Bleeping Machines ..... A Modern Curse

Unfortunately it appears that most of the ward helper staff are not authorised to stop these noises when (and this is often the case), there is no one able to immediately sort out the primary issue.

So you lie in bed surrounded by these squawk's, blips, peeps, and whistles for long periods of time. Eventually of course the one person who is authorised turns up, and adds drugs, removes tube chinks, unblocks the pipes, or empties the bags, and each machine calms down.

Not that they are now silent, but now they hum contentedly, their needs satisfied ..... for now. Only for few hours though, before that awful din resumes. I seem to recall that non-stop noises played into your ears is a recognised form of torture, practised by the Chinese and North Koreans amongst others.

So whilst the NHS has undoubtedly saved my life (and for which I am unduly grateful), it also spent a fortnight subjecting me to a recognised form of psychological warfare as the price.


  1. You understandably hesitate to complain about this annoyance but like sub standard food in hospitals (if this is still the case?) it is a hindrance to healing and should be addressed in the same way as are hygiene and medicine.

    1. "I'm sorry, I ordered the fish".
      "That is the fish"

      True exchange between me and the axillary nurse who handed me the plate. However they only get 90pence per person per meal to cater for patients.

      As for the beeping your true .... they send you home to recuperate asap. In my case just 10 days after very major operation.


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