Crime Shorts (or No Shorts)

Crime stories have always held our interest .....

Real Crime Shows On TV

Hence the success of reality crime stories on TV shows such as The Murder Tapes or Cold Justice. I am no different, and have collected a number of news snippets from various sources:

Old Thieves Don't Fade Away

Proving once again that your never too old to be a criminal, a pensioner in sheltered accommodation joined forces with an RAF sergeant, in a £1million drug dealing and money laundering scheme. Seventy one year old Dennis Jacobs, and Sgt David Corentin (32) dealt drugs, including cannabis, cocaine and amphetamines across London and Essex areas in England. They and a third man, Jason Warner (48) were caught with £500,000 in cash in a car, over £1m in drugs, plus another £120,000 in Jacobs home.

Old And Young Lags

Warner got 8yrs, Corentin 2 yrs, and Jacobs 1yr, which seems odd as they all committed the same offence .... the money was seized, and the drugs destroyed. What it also once again illustrates is just how lucrative selling drugs in the developed world is. Its easy money (until you get caught), and its that fact which means we can never stop it while it is.

No Point In Prison

Its hard to imagine this happening in the UK, but it did. In 2021 an inmate in Her Majesties Prison Hollesley Bay, in Suffolk (an open prison), who was incarcerated for drug offences, used a smuggled in phone, to arrange a visit from a prostitute. 

He then posted on social media, pictures of the lady concerned on his prison bed. When alerted by the press, the prisoner was transferred to a closed prison and security tightened. However a security sweep showed just how lax things had gotten , when 111 drug stashes, 45 bottles of booze, and 133 mobile phones were uncovered ... but no more prostitutes ... so that's OK then?

Army Corporal Thief

Audrey Urbina, originally from Belize, was a female corporal in the British Army, and who was in charge of organising Army Travel, took advantage of her position of trust to organise free flights for her family and friends. She took at least £15,000 worth of flights, before being eventually caught after 17 months, and "using it as her personal travel agency". She even continued whilst on maternity leave ... taking her husband and her family to Miami, New York and Cancun Mexico. One month, she bought flights for a 'Pauline Augustine' (understood to be her sister) from Belize to London via Miami, then onto Manchester before later going to New York, Miami, and Belize again.

She was convicted of 14 frauds by a military court and dismissed from the army (after 10 years in the force). She was also sentenced to nine months prison detention .... you have to wonder why people throw away careers like this? In case your wondering, the British Army pays corporals £35,718 a year ($45,104.00) .... hardly a pittance, especially with Army accommodation and if her husband was working.

Is it just because they have access to the money? Not unsurprisingly the judge called for a review of Ministry of Defence auditing procedures suggesting that she should have been caught quickly for what was apparently an incredibly unsophisticated fraud (she simply used her special ID code and booked the trips).

Nuts and Bolts

Police arrested a naked man who walked into a Screwfix store in Macclesfield, Cheshire, England, and picked up light bulbs from the on-line click and collect desk. He had then walked to the checkout queue, paid and left with his purchases (one hesitates to speculate as to where he kept his wallet) .... where police picked him up outside after a customer called them. 

A Naked Shopper In Screwfix

He was questioned under suspicion of committing an act likely to cause alarm or distress ... he was released (naked?) pending further enquiries. Whatever happened to public indecency charges?? ..... I can think of at least one naked rambler and a carpenter who will both be aggrieved at this apparently lenient treatment.

.... and finally, sicking on the naked visitors theme ...

Naked Visitor

In November 2021 a naked man was found trapped inside the toilet wall space of a theatre in Syracuse, New York state. He had apparently been there for 2 days after he became trapped, after he fell inside the wall of the theatre's male bathrooms. The man, who was reported as having mental health issues (hence the nakedness I assume), had been seen wandering around the building earlier in the week, but had been assumed to have left. 

He was found after he was heard banging on the wall and pleading for help. Police said the man would not be charged or identified.