Things That (Dont) Go Bump In The Night

 There's ghost hunting .....

Modern Ghost Hunting TV Shows

 .... then there's modern ghost hunting. There are also believers, and non-believers.

One, the first one, is traditional ghost hunting. You know the stately homes, old churches, ruined abbeys, ruined castles type of thing. These are often what you used to see on old BBC 'live' ghost hunting shows .... men sat in some old stone cellar, waiting for something, anything, to go bump in the night.

Of course nothing ever did, and about the only thing of interest was to wait for someone to declare that either something invisible had just brushed past them, or that they were suddenly going cold ..... Duh! ... both are called 'drafts' just in case you didn't realise it. We have a lot of them in old buildings in Britain, and castle ruins often go a bit further and actually have wind, and even weather.

Modern ghost hunters tend to go for old 'private hospitals and asylums,' and sometimes pubs (such as the Black Swan in Rixton), or guest houses that are still occupied, The Internet is awash with films of things spontaneously moving (its often called thin wire), or flying (some off camera throwing, perhaps?) .... in other words 95% of the incidents on the Internet are likely to be simply camera tricks to get a few hits on a YouTube channel.

There are some incidents on CCTV security cameras, of glasses falling to the floor such as at the White Swan in Dunstable, where on the 16th of February 2022, a pint of Coors beer slid off the level table and crashed to the floor. The security footage was later posted on line on the pubs Facebook page (where it was picked by media companies ..... good pub(licty) .... out then came the staff with stories of 'feeling presences around the bar,' and windows opening by themselves, and even 'strange noises' (old building settling?). There was even claims of an 'unexplained figure' seen by the cleaner ... so every ghostly trope known to man, apart from a poltergeist or a claim that someone died or was murdered in the pub (take your pick).

On TV Ghost shows, well your relying on the honesty of the presenters (that's your judgement call) .... but the most realistic are those, where to all intents and purposes, they usually get the same outcomes as those old live broadcast ghost hunting shows. They hear unidentified bangs and scrapes (Rats, Cats, Cats chasing Rats, or rough sleepers/junkies being disturbed and frightened by the noise the TV show is making). They also often say that something had just brushed past them (bats or moths, or maybe all in their minds), or just hit them in the back, and even that they were suddenly going cold.

No proof  positive there then. So like religious belief, you essentially have to believe, or to not believe in ghosts ..... unless that is, you claim to meet one (but with no film of course).

Dead Woman's Ditch - Quantocks

Essentially that's what 'Ghost Hunter' Christine Thomas claimed happened to her in the Quantock Hills in Somerset, England. In February 2022, it was reported that she was at the 'Dead Woman's Ditch'  ... so named, as a woman called June Walford, was murdered there by her husband John (a charcoal burner) in 1789.

Newspaper Report Of Jane Walford's Murder

Its a spot that ever since that tragic and gruesome event, she has reputedly haunted as the site of her demise, hence Ms Thomas's attendance at the location with her husband 'Dave,' after several tourists over the years had said they had been scared away, by a ghost who 'shouts and swears' at them at the spot. They had been investigating the claims since 2020, and have claimed to also have had other encounters there, including with the ghost of a murderer from 1798.

It appears that its Christine whose most sensitive to the presences as Dave said: "There is definitely something there. My wife has experienced it for a long time. Not everybody is aware of ghosts. That's because some people have weaker barriers than others and are more likely to come across one."

Now to put this in context it was reported that at least one local had already claimed that "When I was about 17 on my way home from work, driving along a cold road, I saw a bright white figure on the side of the road so I slowed down. It appeared to be a woman completely dressed in white, old-fashioned clothing." 

"I couldn’t take my eyes off as I drove past. I couldn’t bring myself to turn around to have another look. I just drove home in complete shock." ... while another claimed to have seen "what looks like a tall figure with a long dark coat on outside the pub, on the edge of the road."

Anyway, Christine then told the newspapers, that while wandering about the location, she encountered the apparition of a "woman in white", who shouted at her, and she was told to "Fuck Off," by the "nasty, evil spirit'', and that she and her husband picked up on a voice before being told to leave.

So there you are then, definitive proof of both a life after death, and ghosts, straight from the horses mouth so to speak (if your a believer), and perhaps not so (if your a sceptic like me). I also noted that Somerset is the land of scrumpy cider ....  the mention of pubs in one ghost report stood out a little, in the context of seeing ghosts late at night (or even little green men, or flying elephants etc) .... a coincidence I am sure.

Also being told to 'Fuck Off' by a female ghost from the late 18th century, seems a little incongruous, because although the word F*ck was already in the language (and had been for some time), its not clear that it was commonly combined with the word 'Off' at the time of her death, as a pejorative term for 'Go Away'. 

I might have expected the far more common term "Bugger", which was even in the printed language by 1647, and for example *"Blast and bugger your eyes, I have got none of your money” (1794); so 'Bugger Off' might have been more likely a term from a late 18th century female country ghost.

Oh well, I guess I am just a deep sceptic at heart ..... 

* [Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing. By Melissa Mohr]