Men's Idle Hands Are The Devils Playthings

We have discussed before on this blog the fact that mens sexual desires are wide and varied  .....

Varied Body Sizes And Colours (Popsugar Brand)

with women of all types finding admirers ..... but frankly in some cases they are bloody weird.

In some ways, the fact that there are men who like skinny women or fat women or every personality, size, and colour, shape, and anything in between (and the same for ladies), probably kept the race in existence. After all if we only wanted to mate with one type of male or female, we would either all look identical to each other, or be extinct as fighting over that one type would have killed us all.

But that being said .... men who are left on their own, and to their own devices are a menace to themselves .... the US Consumer Product Safety Commission can attest to that being true. Each year the commission updates its database on the reasons people have been admitted to hospital emergency rooms across the USA.

As might be expected in 2022 there was a significant number of (often sexually) related genital injuries requiring treatment included in the figures:

• "Tried to ride dog, penis contusion."
• "leaned forward slightly while lying in bed, accidentally discharged his 45 calibre hand gun into the base of his penis."
•  "Playing with a toy dinosaur and made it bite his penis."
• "Had piercing on his penis which got caught in the car door."
• "Pain to testicles which started when he was given oral sex after he was sprayed in the eyes with pepper spray." ..... really??
• "Intoxicated and thought was applying sexual stimulant to scrotum and instead applied toilet bowl cleaner"

But once you start researching this murky world the tales keep coming (so to speak).

• A US college freshman reportedly came into the emergency room in Illinois with severely swollen penis. It was a very, very swollen, and it had a couple little abrasions on the skin of the penile shaft. After lots of questioning, the patient confessed that he had received oral sex from another freshman who was wearing teeth braces. The braces had cut open his penis, and whatever food, germs and bacteria were trapped in the braces were feeding into his wounds .... He was successfully treated with a course of antibiotics.

• In the US a 60-something-year-old man who came in to a hospital in Illinois with a wedding stuck on his penis. The patient had apparently been suffering with erectile dysfunction and after doing some research on-line decided the object could help with his problem. However none of the blood was able to go back into his body, as it all got trapped, and his penis was swollen and borderline necrotic. After the local fire brigade were unable to help, the Doctor used a jigsaw blade and eventually managed to saw through with no further damage to the man. The man recovered well and was informed that he'd have better success with Viagra pills. 

Man With Unusual Injuries

In Germany, a fitness fanatic was rushed to hospital after getting his penis stuck in a hole in a weight. The unnamed patient was rushed to hospital, where doctors called in firefighters to free his purple and swollen genitals where they spent three hours using specialist equipment (a grinder and vibrating saw) to free him from the 2.5kg (5Ib 8oz) weight.

It is not known how exactly the man managed to get his penis stuck in the plate (although we can all speculate). The image of the man's genitals was supposed to be for official use only, but it has ended up all over social media. An investigation was launched by the hospital to try and find out how the pictures were leaked.

Hospitals actually deal with a large number of sex organ related injuries as people and couples find different ways to injure themselves:

For instance many men have reported genital trauma, after accidentally getting their penises stuck in their pant zippers. In fact a March 2013 report in Sexual Medicine found that penile trauma due to zippers was fairly common (I've done it myself but not gone to hospital). 

A researcher found that between 2002 and 2010, an estimated 17,616 people showed up and emergency rooms in the United States due to trouser zip injuries to their genitals. "The penis was almost always the only genital organ involved," the researchers wrote. The average age for this type of injury was 22 years and the median age was 18 years.