Friday, 4 December 2015

Age Of Street Zombies

This last weekend I was trawling the terrestrial 'Freeview' TV channels (I don't see any value in what the satellite or payperview channels offer, and there is no cable available at PC Towers), and I couldn't help but notice how many 'supernatural' shows are available (plus films) on any given night/day.

In particular there were an awful lot of 'Zombie' offerings .... I realise that these things come in crazies, err I mean crazes (or perhaps I don't), and that just a couple of years ago it was all chick flick Vampirism (Twilight, The Vampire Diaries etc). There has even been a couple of attempts to get a Werewolf love TV series off the ground, following the success of the 'Underworld' film franchise, but these seem to fail on the 'hairy fur and fangs' bit, of Werewolves (versus the new romantic, pale skin with Gothic capes and fangs aspects of Vampires) .... There was even one Werewolf show available, but I have forgotten what it was called.

Rise Of The Machines ..... Zombification Of The Human Race

But the one genre that seems to eternally be shown all the time is, Zombies. Boy are they popular .... 'Z Nation', 'The Walking Dead', 'The Returned', to name just three shows currently or recently circulating in the land of TV repeats, (aka 'terrestrial and freeview TV').

What made me think about this in more than a passing manner, was that on the daily commute to a major city in pursuit of the shekel, I had noted that the human race is increasingly resembling zombies. Shuffling along the street, and seemingly oblivious to each other, whilst staring vacantly at the floor ..... except its not the floor is it?

Its their mobile phones, that seem to be glued to many people’s hands these days. The new world plague is in fact the 'Smart-phone', without which you are no longer a 'normal', but with which, you are increasingly also not a 'normal' either.

Zombie Phones Sometime Show Their True Colours

I mean is it normal to walk around unaware of your surroundings, whilst flicking feverishly with both thumbs (or any other digits from both hands), over a small glass screen .... mostly oblivious to oncoming traffic (as I witnessed on a recent Monday morning, when a woman all but got hit by walking straight out on to the road without once taking her eyes off her phone screen).

All of us (who are not eye balling our phones), will have noted that many pedestrians (and some drivers), cannot apparently travel in a straight line anymore as their phones happily take control (and also disproving once and for all, the idea of female multi-tasking), and guide them in erratic journeys down the high-street.

A recent local newspaper report showed a family who had narrowly escaped a major house fire. They were in their night attire, but all the adults and teens were, you guessed it, clutching their phones. This suggests that for them, and many others I suspect, almost the first thing they pick up when awoken, is their phone.

Many of us or our fellow citizens feel very uneasy, or in even more extreme cases, ‘naked’, without our mobiles. Some will go home to get them, and risk being late for work or appointments, rather than face the day without their personal phone. Strangely, when in work or even social occasions, these phones often cease to be 'mobile', and are annoyingly just plonked on desks or tables, beeping or ringing unanswered, while their owners go off to meetings.

In fact the only plus I could find for this phenomena of phone activated 'street zombies', is that there had been suggestions that some street crimes (except in relation to stealing phones?), figures had dropped, as the feckless also spend their time updating their status to each other ... but this isn't apparently backed by any hard figures, and may just reflect police priorities in our urban areas. Or, that given natural selection, heavy traffic, and enough time, this phone zombie control phenomena will thin out the more stupid of our populations.

But in the meantime we are left with the conclusion that the machines have taken over and turned the human race into 'Zombies' .... oddly the only way to kill Zombies is to lop their heads off, which would also be the way to stop people using mobile phones.


  1. I used to like the odd vampire movie when it was Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, or even Gary Oldman; I even liked Wesley Snipes and Kate Beckinsale but I turn off as soon as it gets romantic, I mean I can suspend my disbelief as long as the undead are being evil and fulfilling their bloodlust but falling in love and excercising morals makes as much sense as a chocolate teapot - and I've never liked anything to do with Zombies.

    4Music, Wednesday at 9pm, nothing on Freeview indeed ;-) - not to mention Gogglebox of course, or Brooklyn Nine-Nine on E4. Oh, and enjoy Josh is very good too (BBC1 and Three).

  2. Actually I never said there was nothing on Freeview. I actually said that I couldn't see any value in what the satellite or payperview channels offer, and that was why I don't have them and was using Freeview. I may get cable if it ever comes to the door but really just for Broadband speeds.

    I don't understand the obsession with Zombies who in reality wouldn' last 5 minutes against humans. Best recent Vampire movies, '30 days of night', and, From Dusk Till Dawn but for different reasons.


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