Friday, 21 October 2016

The Empire Strikes Back

The Dark Side of the force has always been powerful, and its seems that even the Obi Kenobi's have been caught up by it. Admittedly in this case it was an adopted Kenobi, in the form of a Mr Mark Pitt, a 45 year old former British Telecom account manager, but is now a 'carer for the elderly', who currently describes himself as being a 'crime fighter' in his neighbourhood of Clacton in Essex.

The Force Wasn't With Him ...

Mr Pitt chose to change his name to 'Obi-Mark Kenobi' as he is a 'Jedi' .... all was going well until the aforementioned 'Dark Side' of the force entered his life.

It did so in the form of the local police force, who arrived at the behest of Mr Kenobi's neighbours in March 2016, after they complained about noise from the Millennium Falcon aka his house. Their complaints caused Mr Kenobi to deny them, by ranting for a considerable period of time on the fact that the force was with him not them in this matter.

So when the imperial storm troopers arrived, he continued to air his views and he was handcuffed. However 'cuffs' were never going to be enough to restrain a Jedi, and he assaulted the nearest trooper i.e. policeman, even with the handcuffs on, by thrusting both his fists into the policeman's face.

Strangely Colchester Courts Reminded Me Of Something .....

When he appeared in court he denied both the assault and the abusive behaviour but even with his best mind control he was unable to convince the jury who found him guilty. The judge sentenced him to a 3 month curfew (Bedtimes between 7pm and 7am) ... and fined him £100, to be paid to the police officer. Finally he was banned from contacting the neighbour for 12 months.

He has a bit of previous on this type of activity ..... September 2015 he made threats and chased people with a snooker cue, waving it around like a light-saber. He later admitted to a public order offence. In December 2015 he was in court again, dressed once more as a Jedi, to admit to chasing boys at the Magic City Amusement Arcade on Christmas Island, while armed with a shovel and threatening to decapitate them. He was said to have believed he was battling the drug underworld in a vigilante-style mission.

He was sentenced on that occasion to a community order with an eight-week curfew from 6pm to 6am, alongside being ordered to pay £60 compensation to the female victim and £150 costs.

I may be wrong, but I strongly suspect that this is not the end of this story, and that Obi-Mark Kenobi will grace these posts again ...

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A middle aged orange male ... So 'un' PC it's not true....