Penis Thief

 The police of the world find some of the strangest things ....

Gulls Will Attempt To Eat Almost Anything.

 ... but apart from the African penis theft panics (which don't actually result in any penises going missing), not too many male penises (I say 'male', because some left-wing politicians etc are confused as to who has penises and I don't want them getting mixed up).

Anyways, the police in Mobile, Alabama were called to to a city gas station after a report that a penis had been found there. It was to say the least a baffling and strange call, so they approached with some trepidation as to what they might find, after all penises are normally attached to men, so there might well be a body nearby.

But when they got to the gas station, there was indeed a sole penis and no body could be found nearby. They took it back to forensics, where investigators were able to link the errant member to a motorcyclist who had been killed in a road accident on the interstate outside the city, and who had been missing that bit when his remains were reassembled after the accident. 

However they were totally unable to explain how the detached member had travelled the several miles to the car park at the gas station. Well, I have placed a clue in the image above ...