Friday, 1 April 2016

Booze Cruise

Beware that booze when your on holiday with your partner ... there's nearly always one row and these can lead to strange events.

I had at least three public bust ups with my lady friends (actually now I come to think on it, it was actually all the same woman .... hmm that may explain the 'ex' nature of that relationship), immediately prior to, or while on holiday. On all occasions, we patched it up and proceeded on our way without too much damage at the time ... although cumulatively it may have had an effect.

Booze Cruising Always Risks Relationship Problems ..... Although Not Always With Your Partner

Which is not what can be said about British pensioner Mrs Brown of Dorset. She and her (then?) husband had been on a '32-night Treasures of the West Indies' cruise, when on day 28, the couple had decided to cut short their holiday while the cruise liner was docked at the Portuguese island of Madeira. The story doesn't make clear why they had decided not to wait four more days before going home, but subsequent events suggest that it may have been caused by rowing. Whatever the reason, the cruise operator Cruise & Maritime Voyages had arranged for them to fly out of Madeira.

So they went to the airport ..... I am assuming that some drinking took place and whatever was simmering flared up again, and they had a row. It was sufficiently full blooded an event, that they separated in the airport. Mrs Brown got somewhat confused about her husbands intentions, as he had suggested during the row that he was minded to get a taxi and return to the cruise ship. So when she couldn't find him, she believed that he had gone and done just that, and was now back on the cruise ship. She 'followed' him and went back to the port area (which is next to the airport), only to find that the cruise liner was already heading out of the harbour.

Now I don't know about you, but I would have headed back to the airport and taken my flight home (possibly stopping at a lawyers on the way home), but then I am not made of the stern stuff that obviously courses through the veins of Mrs Brown. With barely a seconds hesitation, she leapt into the harbour waters and started swimming vigorously after the departing ocean liner.

Now at the age of 65, I think it shows that Dorset women are often fit as a butchers dog, because she made the admirable distance of about 1,600ft out to sea, before fatigue overtook her. She was in the water for more than three hours, and was suffering from the effects of hypothermia when her cries for help were eventually heard by three fishermen, who said that she was "very confused and pale" when they pulled her from the port waters. One told the press that "She was barely conscious - she's lucky to be alive. I don't think she would have lasted another 30 minutes." .... Mrs Brown is being treated at a local hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.

Swimming After The Boat Has Gone Takes Courage .....Or Stupidity

Her miraculous survival was put down to the fact that, although all she had on her was the clothes she was wearing at the airport, she was also still clinging on to a stout handbag .... this seems to have acted rather like a float, and aided her buoyancy. At least that's what the port captain thought was the only explanation for her survival.

.... Her husband?

Well its believed that he boarded the plane, heading home to Dorset, via Bristol Airport, and straight into a divorce I suspect.

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