Every great Super Villain, from Felonius Gru (Despicable Me), to Goldfinger (James Bond movie of same name) has needed 'a cunning plan' ..... now some, like Gru's miniaturising the moon and stealing it, are doomed on so many levels, but some, such as the Bond super villains always have a superficially viable plan:
But once you examine them closely, well, they mostly kind of fall apart.
Goldfinger
Plot: Gold tycoon Auric Goldfinger’s plan is that he wants to irradiate the U.S. Bullion Depository in Fort Knox via an atomic bomb, rendering it worthless for physical use for decades or centuries. This will in turn increase the value of gold and make Goldfinger richer.
Viability: This could effectively reduce the gold supply somewhat but as the vast majority of the gold in the U.S. are still in the basement of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York (Manhattan), it would have failed. Also the US Dollar is now not the only major currency, so although much of the gold stored in the US is other countries, the backing currencies are not dollars. So might have worked in the 1960's, but not so hot now.
Live and Let Die
Plot: Caribbean dictator/drug lord Dr. Kananga plans to distribute heroin for free through his chain of U.S. restaurants, which he expects will simultaneously put his competitors (such as the Russian and Columbian Mafia's) out of business, and also create an America full of addicts. Then, with no competitors, he will hike the prices for his heroin.
Viability: If he lived long enough, with those violent groups trying to kill him, or bombing his restaurants out of business (with customer loss), or can ignore the FBI all over his ass, he would also find that although the US is already a nation of addicts, they are addicted to dozens of drugs, such as prescription Opoids, Cocaine and Marijuana, as well as Heroin. Or the new man made drugs such as Flakka, Crystal Meth, Spice. So a stupid plan. Out of the Super Villains Club Dr. Kananga.
A View to a Kill
Plot: Max Zorin wants to secretly trigger a massive earthquake that will destroy Silicon Valley. This will then allow him and his investor allies to monopolize the microchip manufacturing market.
Viability: No brainer, complete waste of time as microchips are manufactured all over the world, such as United States (10 companies), Korea (2 companies), Taiwan (3 companies), Japan (7 companies), Europe (3 companies) - even chip design is spread over the world. Max Zorin, your also out of the SV club.
Goldeneye
Plot: Alec Trevelyan a former 006 and head of the Janus Crime Syndicate, wants to use an electromagnetic pulse from a nuclear weapon to bring London to its knees and destroy the Bank of England, but not before electronically stealing millions of pounds from the Bank’s systems.
Viability: Firstly, how do you steal the money (many billions) and not have it traced? Then a EMP would disable more than just London, and finally it’s actually very hard to convert huge amounts of cash, bonds or shares, without crashing the market for them. The Chinese for example loaded up with US debt bonds, and now are as dependent upon the US, as the US is on them. So in this example, the super villain might found that the only country taking the pound, would be Britain. Whose economy he's just destroyed ... kinda dumb, if workable, just.
Tomorrow Never Dies
Plot: Tycoon Elliot Carver wants to provoke a war between the United Kingdom and China by misleading a British warship into Chinese territorial waters (by skewing his own GPS satellite to feed the British ship incorrect location data), and sinking it, and in the ensuing political chaos, he and a Chinese general will then stage a coup d’état in China by shooting a nuclear missile at Beijing.The new leadership in China will then give Carver control over all the media in China.
Viability: Firstly, the UK is no longer likely to fight China over one incident - our navy can't even defend itself against Iranians in speedboats. Then, once its found to have been one of Carver’s own GPS satellites which malfunctioned, his stock price may collapse, and UN warrants will be issued for his arrest. Also, the Chinese state controls its own press, and would be hardly likely to hand it to a western businessman. So despite its echoes for the events of 1859 which started the first Opium War (which the Chinese have not forgotten), the plans a little too fetched. Out you go tycoon Carver.
The World is Not Enough
Plot: The daughter of a deceased oil tycoon, Elektra King wants to blow up a nuclear submarine in the Bosphorus, thus destroying Istanbul to cripple Russian oil pipelines that take the oil from the Caspian Sea to Europe via the north through the straits. Her own oil pipeline in the Caspian takes the oil through the south and bypasses Turkey ... so up go her share prices.
Viability: Not really thought out. The destruction of pipelines wouldn’t just increase the value of Elektra’s oil, but of all oil all around the world. It would definitely disrupt the market for a little while, but no more than 18 months until new pipe laid through the straits, or an alternative route found. Also, as BP have found, the Kremlin doesn't respect contracts and may just seize control of her line from the Caspian. In any event, such is world demand for oil from that region that they’re actually planning to create a dozen more pipelines right now. Waste of time Ms King.
Casino Royale:
Plot: Le Schiffre is *shorting airline stocks, while simultaneously planning to destroy a prototype luxury jet-liner on its maiden voyage. That will then drive airline stocks down, allowing him to make millions.*When an investor borrows shares and immediately sells them, hoping he or she can scoop them up later at a lower price, return them to the lender and pocket the difference.
Viability: Quick returns on a simple plan, as successfully shorting a stock can produce a very quick return, making it irrelevant if the stocks eventually recover their value .... would work. This is frequently practiced by cartels (often illegally), so he doesn't really need to blow up anything. Simply get together with other like minded super villains, and manipulate share prices .... City of London watchdog take note! So top Plan Monsieur Le Schiffre - just needs a small tweak, leave the jet alone.
Quantum of Solace
Plot: Scheming environmentalist Dominic Greene wants to dam Bolivia’s fresh water supply to create a monopoly. Then, he’s going to help a Bolivian general stage a coup d’état, but not before he forces the general to sign a contract making Greene’s company the sole water supplier of Bolivia, at much higher prices .... this sounds just like Tomorrow Never Dies, but with water?
Viability: There was a film Even the Rain about the failure of privatised water in South America (mainly due to stolen water as poorer communities simply breached pipes because they couldn't afford water prices - a bit like privatising air!).... so safe to say Mr Greene is out of the super villain club for not doing his homework. Often the case with The Greens.
Now if I was a Super Villain then I would ...... ah but that would be telling (cue manic cackle, followed by coughing fit!!).
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| Some Bond Super Villains Club Members |
Goldfinger
Plot: Gold tycoon Auric Goldfinger’s plan is that he wants to irradiate the U.S. Bullion Depository in Fort Knox via an atomic bomb, rendering it worthless for physical use for decades or centuries. This will in turn increase the value of gold and make Goldfinger richer.
Viability: This could effectively reduce the gold supply somewhat but as the vast majority of the gold in the U.S. are still in the basement of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York (Manhattan), it would have failed. Also the US Dollar is now not the only major currency, so although much of the gold stored in the US is other countries, the backing currencies are not dollars. So might have worked in the 1960's, but not so hot now.
Live and Let Die
Plot: Caribbean dictator/drug lord Dr. Kananga plans to distribute heroin for free through his chain of U.S. restaurants, which he expects will simultaneously put his competitors (such as the Russian and Columbian Mafia's) out of business, and also create an America full of addicts. Then, with no competitors, he will hike the prices for his heroin.
Viability: If he lived long enough, with those violent groups trying to kill him, or bombing his restaurants out of business (with customer loss), or can ignore the FBI all over his ass, he would also find that although the US is already a nation of addicts, they are addicted to dozens of drugs, such as prescription Opoids, Cocaine and Marijuana, as well as Heroin. Or the new man made drugs such as Flakka, Crystal Meth, Spice. So a stupid plan. Out of the Super Villains Club Dr. Kananga.
A View to a Kill
Plot: Max Zorin wants to secretly trigger a massive earthquake that will destroy Silicon Valley. This will then allow him and his investor allies to monopolize the microchip manufacturing market.
Viability: No brainer, complete waste of time as microchips are manufactured all over the world, such as United States (10 companies), Korea (2 companies), Taiwan (3 companies), Japan (7 companies), Europe (3 companies) - even chip design is spread over the world. Max Zorin, your also out of the SV club.
Goldeneye
Plot: Alec Trevelyan a former 006 and head of the Janus Crime Syndicate, wants to use an electromagnetic pulse from a nuclear weapon to bring London to its knees and destroy the Bank of England, but not before electronically stealing millions of pounds from the Bank’s systems.
Viability: Firstly, how do you steal the money (many billions) and not have it traced? Then a EMP would disable more than just London, and finally it’s actually very hard to convert huge amounts of cash, bonds or shares, without crashing the market for them. The Chinese for example loaded up with US debt bonds, and now are as dependent upon the US, as the US is on them. So in this example, the super villain might found that the only country taking the pound, would be Britain. Whose economy he's just destroyed ... kinda dumb, if workable, just.
Tomorrow Never Dies
Plot: Tycoon Elliot Carver wants to provoke a war between the United Kingdom and China by misleading a British warship into Chinese territorial waters (by skewing his own GPS satellite to feed the British ship incorrect location data), and sinking it, and in the ensuing political chaos, he and a Chinese general will then stage a coup d’état in China by shooting a nuclear missile at Beijing.The new leadership in China will then give Carver control over all the media in China.
Viability: Firstly, the UK is no longer likely to fight China over one incident - our navy can't even defend itself against Iranians in speedboats. Then, once its found to have been one of Carver’s own GPS satellites which malfunctioned, his stock price may collapse, and UN warrants will be issued for his arrest. Also, the Chinese state controls its own press, and would be hardly likely to hand it to a western businessman. So despite its echoes for the events of 1859 which started the first Opium War (which the Chinese have not forgotten), the plans a little too fetched. Out you go tycoon Carver.
The World is Not Enough
Plot: The daughter of a deceased oil tycoon, Elektra King wants to blow up a nuclear submarine in the Bosphorus, thus destroying Istanbul to cripple Russian oil pipelines that take the oil from the Caspian Sea to Europe via the north through the straits. Her own oil pipeline in the Caspian takes the oil through the south and bypasses Turkey ... so up go her share prices.
Viability: Not really thought out. The destruction of pipelines wouldn’t just increase the value of Elektra’s oil, but of all oil all around the world. It would definitely disrupt the market for a little while, but no more than 18 months until new pipe laid through the straits, or an alternative route found. Also, as BP have found, the Kremlin doesn't respect contracts and may just seize control of her line from the Caspian. In any event, such is world demand for oil from that region that they’re actually planning to create a dozen more pipelines right now. Waste of time Ms King.
Casino Royale:
Plot: Le Schiffre is *shorting airline stocks, while simultaneously planning to destroy a prototype luxury jet-liner on its maiden voyage. That will then drive airline stocks down, allowing him to make millions.*When an investor borrows shares and immediately sells them, hoping he or she can scoop them up later at a lower price, return them to the lender and pocket the difference.
 |
| Very Cunning Monsieur Le Schiffre And You Have The Cat Too. |
Viability: Quick returns on a simple plan, as successfully shorting a stock can produce a very quick return, making it irrelevant if the stocks eventually recover their value .... would work. This is frequently practiced by cartels (often illegally), so he doesn't really need to blow up anything. Simply get together with other like minded super villains, and manipulate share prices .... City of London watchdog take note! So top Plan Monsieur Le Schiffre - just needs a small tweak, leave the jet alone.
Quantum of Solace
Plot: Scheming environmentalist Dominic Greene wants to dam Bolivia’s fresh water supply to create a monopoly. Then, he’s going to help a Bolivian general stage a coup d’état, but not before he forces the general to sign a contract making Greene’s company the sole water supplier of Bolivia, at much higher prices .... this sounds just like Tomorrow Never Dies, but with water?
Viability: There was a film Even the Rain about the failure of privatised water in South America (mainly due to stolen water as poorer communities simply breached pipes because they couldn't afford water prices - a bit like privatising air!).... so safe to say Mr Greene is out of the super villain club for not doing his homework. Often the case with The Greens.
Now if I was a Super Villain then I would ...... ah but that would be telling (cue manic cackle, followed by coughing fit!!).
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