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Friday 11 January 2019

Time Travellers Tripping Over Each Other

Another time traveller turned up last December ....

Noah The Time Traveller From 2030 AD.
Noah The Time Traveller From 2030 AD.

..... this time from the distant future of, err, 2030 AD.

This brave traveller is using the name of Noah, and is hiding his appearance, presumably because as he is obviously over the age of 12, there must be some sort of temporal paradox going on here. He is after all here twice, as both his child/teen self, and his older self from the future.

Anyway, paradox aside (it wouldn't be fun if you shot them down too early), he's passing on a list of predictions for the next 12 years. He delivered these to the world, via paranormal investigators from the conspiracy YouTube channel ApexTV, 'Noah,' said he had brought library pages from the future.

However these crumpled up pages looked remarkably like standard printer paper, on which allegedly there were details of the “exact dates of future events”. “I’m here to tell you guys about the future because we have a lot of things coming – aliens, global warming and war. In the future, aliens come in the year 2028. In the year 2028 also, time travel is revealed to the public by the government. Believe it or not, this is the facts. I do not change them in any way, this is what happens in the future. In the future aliens are also found. They crash all over the world and we uncover them and we become peaceful with aliens."

So here we go .... the future as described by Noah - This year.
  • January 2019: A spike in UFO sightings worldwide.
  • February: The biggest and longest lasting snowstorm hit the mid-west of the USA.
  • April: The first commercial robotic eye was released, allowing blind people to see.
  • June: An implanted chip allowed paralysed people to walk again.
  • January 2020: Controversy began after the release of the A1 Machine Android as protesters are against the new technology.
  • November 3: President Trump is re-elected.

The second list, dated 2028 to 2029, is rather shorter:
  • August 2028: Time travel technology and the existence of intelligent extraterrestrial life was released to the public.
  • November: Yolanda Renee King was elected as President of the United States, at just 20 years old.

The Future According To Noah
The Future According To Noah .....

On top of his 'library proof' - Noah said that another “big crisis” are the effects of global warming on the planet. He said: “There’s trash everywhere. There’s pollution in the air which is causing the climate to change. There are forest fires everywhere. We need to stop this."

However, just when you thought time travellers might stop, a few more appear. In fact time travellers are tripping over each other, as it turns out that ApexTV is a must go to spot, when time travellers arrive in our year.

In October 2018. a gentleman purporting to be a scientist from the year 2045 AD had sent a video in to the website. He stated that time travel machines were released to the public in the year 2028 AD, which is also when all countries disappear. By 2045 AD the robots and humans were merging with the Artificial Intelligence which is now running the world, but on the plus side we have flying cars, as a result of reversed engineering from alien craft in Area 51 (aka Groom Lake).

Then in January 2019 ApexTV were sent an email containing an audio file. It tells the story of a man claiming to be a time traveller from the year 2033 AD, he claims to be aged 27 and to have been born in 2006. In the recording, he gives details about the future. 
  • He also claims that time travel became a public possibility in 2028 AD
  • He states that in 2021 AD, a neural chip is released that gives your brain Internet access with free WiFi worldwide. 
  • People use Exo-suits to give them super human powers, as well as better brains (through the internet). People wear contact lenses that act as recorders, as well as giving enhanced vision. 
  • The future is virtually crime free and safe, with diseases all conquered (USA only I think).
  • Global warming has caused the seas to rise and flood many coastal cities around the globe.
  • In 2022 AD the USA declares food to be free to citizens. 
  • The rest of the world is starving though, because of overpopulation and loss of coastal lands. 
  • 2025 AD sees man first manned moon base established. 

Actually what he fails to mention is that time travel obviously makes you a cretin .... or perhaps its because his neural, or as he calls it 'brain chip' doesn't work in this time period.

4 comments:

  1. Why come back to 2019? Why not 2009? ...or 2001 and predict the Twin Towers attack?

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof which is, as usual, un-extraordinarily lacking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess that changing the past would change the time continuum or something .... so a no no for time travellers ... Oh wait, they are going on TV telling us the future (kinda), so that cant be true. So why not go back and kill Hitler, or Marx etc.

      Delete
  2. Nothing about COVID-19? Shame!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the the trouble with time travellers .... they are never able to tell us something useful (or that actually happens!!). Many thanks for the comment.

      Delete

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