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Friday 22 March 2019

Florida Man

In Florida, the news departments have a news item that they define as a 'Florida Man' story.

Florida Man Neme
Florida Man Neme ...

It even developed its own meme and typically this item includes many of the following elements: firearms, locations such as bodies of water, theme parks, Walmart's, fast food joints, alligators, weird reasons for arrest, injuries, drugs and alcohol, could all be part of it, and always animals (especially reptiles).

Now this blog has touched upon these Florida Man themes from Florida in the past - especially robbers, drugs and reptiles, but wasn't aware that there was a 'Florida man' tag line that US reporters used.

Shane Anthony Mele - Florida Idiot And Typical Florida Man
Shane Anthony Mele - Florida Idiot
And Typical Florida Man.

A good example of this news tag, is the headline 'Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Change Machine for $29.30' ...... Shane Anthony Mele stole the rare coins and other items, valued at $350,000, from a friend who had been helping him out. He sold some, then ran many through change machines, where he got just face value. released on bail ... he has disappeared.

Not to be out done Florida Woman also gets in on the act .... 'Florida Woman Holds Up Mail Truck With Toy Gun, Flees on Tricycle' ..... again, we have touched upon the women of Florida. Actually all this reminded me of South Wales in the UK, where similar strange news events seem to be common place.

So just to round things off, here are a few typical 'Florida Man' (or woman stories gleaned from the web pages) .....
  • A Mr Joshua James, was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, after officials said he threw an alligator into the kitchen of a fast food restaurant in Loxahatchee, Florida on the 12th of October, 2015. His charges included unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator ..... nuff said. 
  • Benjamin Herman Siegel a Florida man and reptile store owner if ever there was one, slapped his employees with a bearded dragon lizard, after swinging it around in the air. He also put the lizard in his mouth during the attack.
  • John Hennessey, danced naked in a fire and chanted in gibberish. all the while wielding a knife. When officers arrived on the scene, he grabbed a large wooden stick and started swinging it at them. Police later surmised that Mr Hennessey may have been consuming psychedelic mushrooms.
  • Klaid Karpuzi was released from jail on a car theft charge. Within minutes of his release he broke into another car in the jail's parking area. However he didnt bother to check the cars occupancy and got in to find himself sitting next to a police deputy. He was rearrested and marched right back into jail to be charged with a second attempted auto theft.
  • Dominick Breedlove interviewed for a job at a Kohl's department store. As he wandered of after the interview, Mr Breedlove was then caught shoplifting two pairs of women's running shoes from the same store.

And finally .....
  • Sean Johnson walked into a Walmart, and took a stuffed horse toy off a shelf and marched to the store's bedding department. He then masturbated on a bed using the stuffed animal. Afterwards, he put the toy, covered in his DNA, back on the shelf ... yeuk.

Over to you South Wales .....

2 comments:

  1. I think that I'll be giving Florida a wide berth, maybe Syria this year instead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does make you think. I suspect that the combination of hot tropical sunshine, and the modern curse of chemist drugs, are slowly turning the parts of population insane.

      Delete

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