Friday, 31 May 2013

Garden Gnomes Of Britain Unite

Talking of a more popular comeback, and Gnomes, the garden Gnome is back!

Gnomes Spokesman Shows What He Thinks Of The RHS Ban
Apparently 'The Royal Horticultural Society' .. self-styled arbiters of garden fashion has temporarily lifted a 100 year old ban on garden gnomes at the show (for charity). This inoffensive (well mostly), little figure has a long and noble lineage right back to the classical era. The Romans of Britain put up stone replicas of 'Priapus', the ancient phallic god of fertility in many a Roman garden (which I guess could be considered offensive), and after all, what were all those Roman statues (so beloved of museums now), if not originally 'tasteful' garden ornaments?

During the Renaissance period, the gardens of wealthy villas across Europe displayed groups of stone "grotesques", which included 'Punch-styled' (as in Punch and Judy) figures, typically a metre tall and garishly painted. But it was in Germany that the belief in the little men, who 'helped around farms and mines' first became transmorphed into the stone figure gnomes we see today in Britain.  The oldest of these gnomes is reputed to be "Lampy", the last of a group of 1870's gnomes recorded in the garden of one Charles Isham, of Lamport Hall in Northamptonshire (he's insured for £1m when he goes to gnome moots around the world).

Of course it wouldn't be the modern world if there weren't woodland terrorist groups about, but apparently neither the Garden Gnome Liberation Front, nor the supposedly less militant Garden Gnome Emancipation Movement (which take gnomes from gardens to "free them" from "enslavement" in flower beds, lawns, gardens and centres), have commented on the R.H.S. reconciliation move.

Gnome With His Rod Out

Personally I have always liked seeing the little blighter's in peoples gardens, and think that the R.H.S is frankly being snobbish. I have fond memories of giggling smuttily as a child, especially at the little chap with his rod coming from betwixt his legs .... and I don't mean a Priapus type rod .... ooh err!


  1. Personally I can't see what the RHS lot have against gnomes and elves. I am also fond of little bridges, windmills and fake storks in the pond. I also happily admit that my garden is a real clutter but in winter and summer it can look magical with little eyes following you around the garden. And the real frogs and fish don't seem to mind either.

    1. If I didn't have kids living next door with flying footballs I might have tried it myself, well at least a pond and the little chap with a rod in his hand LOL .... thanks for the comment.


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