Blowing In The Wind

Ex-Detective Constable Claire Fitzpatrick was a police officer on the Gwent Police force in South Wales (yes our UK rival to the Florida man or woman news tag!!)

German Peasants Meeting Pope Paul III's Papal Bull With Their Farts .....

..... I say was because she has been sacked, after being accused of 25 counts of inappropriate behaviour.

These included repeatedly breaking wind in the office, as well as constant use of the 'C word' bomb whilst on duty (She once arrested a motorist telling him: "You're driving like a c*nt"). She was also said to have asked a younger (she's 44), male officer if he wanted an affair with a "fatter, ugly, older woman who wears glasses I have a number''. Her defence was that the swearing was part of the police culture and banter.

Her defence was for the farting around Bedwas police station, was that it wasn't deliberate, and as for the attempts to instigate an affair with a colleague, well it was just a joke ...

Ex-Detective Constable Claire Fitzpatrick ...

... but her defence failed and she was sacked by a disciplinary panel. She of course is not the only fat old farter to get sacked, and indeed there will be others in the future. The number of men in the UK who think that getting upon to the bar in a public house, is cause for a celebratory fart, is unbelievable. 

Anyway, here's a few other miscreants who have been in the news recently ....

Greg Short a worker in Australia was accused of farting on a colleague up to six times a day. The co-worker, the 56 year old Mr Hingst, said the flatulence had caused him "severe stress" and he had left the company after Mr Short led a campaign of bullying against him (calling him and idiot ... I wonder why?). He then tried to sue his former company Construction Engineering in Melbourne, for A$1.8m (£0.97m - $1.28m) in 2017, but the case was thrown out in April 2018. He appealed that decision to the Court of Appeal ...

Interviewed by the Australian Associated Press (APP), Mr Hingst said ."I would be sitting with my face to the wall, and he would come into the room, which was small and had no windows. He would fart behind me and walk away. He would do this five or six times a day." .... however Mr Short told the first hearing that he didn't particularly recall breaking wind near Mr Hingst but "may have done it once or twice, maybe" ... but not with any particular intention of "distressing or harassing."

Despite Mr Hingst's claims of trial bias from the first judge and a bullying conspiracy by his ex-employers, Justice Phillip Priest said that he thought that the original trial judge seemed to have shown "remarkable latitude". "The very distinct impression I get is you were given every opportunity to put your case," he said. Judgement is expected soon .....

Sean Sykes Jnr, a suspect in a federal gun and drug case in Kansas City was being interviewed in but was initially released in September, before being pulled back in again in November 2017. It then emerged that the reason why that first interview was brought to an abrupt end, was that when asked for his address by police, Mr Sykes "leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart. Mr Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview," the detective wrote after having had to get some fresh air.

Sean Sykes Jnr - A Farting Machine.

Mr Sykes denied knowledge of the items, but when re-arrested he was charged with stolen firearm offences, and possession, with intent to sell cocaine.

And finally we have the infamous 'FartGate' when two darts players, Gary Anderson and Wesley Harms, both denied farting accusations at the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton, England. Scotland's Gary Anderson went on to beat Dutchman Wesley Harms, when they met to reach the quarter-finals of the competition. However the waft of "rotten egg smells" went around the auditorium, apparently emanating from the stage. After the defeat Harms told Dutch TV station RTL7L: "It'll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose."

The Farter

Anderson reacted angrily to the claim, "If the boy thinks I've farted he's 1,010% wrong," he told the UK press, "I swear on my children's lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I'm not going to lie about farting on stage."

"Every time I walked past there was a waft of rotten eggs so that's why I was thinking it was him. It was bad. It was a stink, then he started to play better and I thought he must have needed to get some wind out. If somebody has done that they need to see a doctor. Seemingly he says it was me, but I would admit it."