Friday, 30 June 2017

Silly Sausages, Road Hogs and Other Shorts

Melania Trump has had a pork sausage created, and named in her honour in her native Slovakia .... nothing more to be said really.

A truck crashed, bursting into flames.outside Dallas on Thursday the 29th of July. Fortunately its cargo, consisting of nearly 200 pigs, took their chances and ran out onto the highway, and thus avoided becoming bacon. It took the highway maintenance workers several hours to round them all up .... they had to then spray them with a water hose to keep them cool until they could be persuaded to get on another transporter.

Road Hogs Cause May-Ham Across The Globe .....

The Texas rush-hour was reduced to total chaos but hog lives were saved .... strangely I recall that something similar to this road hog activity, happened in Hampshire in England in June this year, when Traffic on the M27 motorway in Hampshire, was brought into to a standstill by two runaway pigs from a local farm, causing may-ham to the rush hour traffic.

Salvador Dali is being exhumed from his crypt in order to determine if a woman called Pilar Abel is his illegitimate daughter ... Dali had no known children in his lifetime. For a master of the absurd he would find this very funny.

Dali Would Have Loved The Idea Of Being Exhumed ....

Anders Breivik has changed his name to Fjotolf Hansen for some reason while in prison ... it appears to be a name of no special significance in his world, and isn't really going to stick for the rest of the world. He is mad .....

Talking of madmen. In a recent poll by Moscow's Levada Centre, Russians have voted Josef Stalin as 'the most outstanding person in history' ..... He got 38% of the vote. This proves that Russia collectively has Stockholm Syndrome. It loves 'strong' leaders i.e. Dictators and Absolute rulers, and identifies only with them.

A Muslim calligrapher aged 80, has spent the last two years hand copying the Quran in a font called 'diwani', which allegedly computers can't produce. The question is Why?

Burmese police have recently burnt 170 million pounds worth of Ketamine and Heroin as a part of the UN's anti drug trafficking day. Neighbouring Thailand burnt a similarly large amount of drugs. Despite the harsh sentences for traffickers they both impose, they remain central to the worlds supplies of hard drugs. We lost the drugs war long ago, but we still fight the battles with the old tactics. We need a new approach.

Jeremy Corbyn, British Prime minister in waiting (or so he hopes), has only ever supported two foreign interventions by either British or UN troops ..... East Timor, which had no British involvement and no causalities, and the Mediterranean Refugee mission, which also has little involvement by us. We are going to be a state very denuded of power and influence, if he ever gets his hands on power.

Mark Colborne was charged with terrorism in 2015, after he was found to have a recipe to grow the deadly mould aflatoxin on the Shredded Wheat breakfast cereal .... he also planned a more mundane sniper shot at Prince Charles. However he wasn't driven by any religious conviction or conversion, but by what he considered to be an anti-redhead bias in the UK. He reportedly felt 'marginalised and belittled' by our society, because he was 'a white, ginger-haired male'. He hoped to kill Prince Charles as part of a plan to make ginger-haired Prince Harry, King of England.

Ehud Olmert was the first former Israeli head of government to be sent to prison. He is also the first to be released from prison, after a parole board decided to let him out early, saying that he had been "punished for his deeds and paid a heavy price", and that his behaviour had been largely "impeccable" ….. oh, apart from the fact that he allegedly had someone smuggle a chapter of a book he is writing out of the prison, and that this is being investigated by the state attorney's office. This mainly over fears that he may have compromised state security ….. so nothing major then! Meanwhile, Mordechai Vanunu is still being hounded by the Israeli state …apparently different values pertain to these two security risks.

Dr Silviu Petrovan Captured These Attacks On Other Birds, In A Series Of Photographs .....

Mallard Ducks are not so much daffy, as deadly. Normally they eat seeds, acorns, berries, plants and insects, with occasionally the odd small fish. However according to a report in the journal Waterbirds they have now apparently learnt to appreciate larger meat foodstuffs, such as fledglings and adult migratory birds. This includes grey wagtail’s and black redstart's, both of which have been observed being hunted and eaten by mallards on a reservoir in Romania. "The mallard was massively struggling to eat that wagtail, presumably because it couldn't actually tear it to pieces because the bill is flattened - it's not designed for ripping prey apart. Digesting bones and feathers - that's not something that mallards have really evolved to do." said Dr Silviu Petrovan.

Finally, I had never heard of the crime of ‘crimen injuria’ …. which is apparently the 'intentional harming of someone's dignity'. This crime is being investigated against a 38-year old male University of Cape Town employee, who seemingly has spied on a woman who was expressing milk for her child’s feed. He is alleged to have set up a live link camera feed in a private room at the institution, on the 13th of June, before it was discovered when the victim noticed that she was being filmed. Two new crimes in one report!

It’s a strange old world ……and no mistake.


  1. It was a rasher decision to include the story that hogs the post. After all this was not 'Swine/11.'

    As it is your bacon my heart with the piggy puns. They are giving me a lardon. If you carry on there may be truffles ahead with serious re-pork-ussions and I may get hamophobia.

    Still, it's a crackling story.

    1. Ha Ha Ha ... very funny. If they were all hogwash I wouldn't print them. thanks for the comment. It has the merit of originality.


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